tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60441003447346056222024-03-05T18:20:13.287-05:00Tiaras, Tantrums & MartinisBalancing babies, checkbooks & sanity. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-65306586824034961042018-02-01T15:00:00.001-05:002018-02-01T15:00:14.877-05:00Science Fair BelligerenceSo it's been a while, but here we are. Lauren's in 3rd grade and Pinteresting like it's her job. Ben's in 2nd grade...and basically looks like a college freshman, not a 7 year old. We're smack dab in the middle of the school year, and just got through the dreaded month of January. As you may remember...January and I never really got along. Historically, January has been a total beyotch and somehow managed to last twice as long as other months. Although I must say that this year, we played nice together in the sandbox. This year it seems January and I worked out some of our issues via more empathetic communication, and copious amounts of wine. So while I may not be ready to wear January's letter sweater, I may be able to call her a "friend".<br />
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So since the last blog...which I believe was the <a href="http://www.tiarastantrumsandmartinis.com/2016/02/dear-shopkin-people-eff-you.html" target="_blank">great Shopkin Rant of 2016</a>...we've maintained our little circus here with what I'd like to say is some level of decorum. The Science Fair is coming up, and this year BOTH kids are signed up. Both. Today is February 1st. The fair is on February 13th. Nothing has been done. Ben is doing his project on Dinosaur Extinction, and Lauren is doing hers on German Shepherds and why they're a top choice for police dogs. Nothing. Has. Been. Done. Look.....<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SEE? NOTHING</td></tr>
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HASHTAG- Motheroftheyear<br />
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This oughta be an interesting Science Fair. Stay tuned. We may just show up with this...<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BEN'S DINOSAUR PROJECT</td></tr>
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I like to imagine how something like that would go down. Has anyone ever done anything so belligerent at a Science Fair? Or would we go down in Science Fair History? If you look closely, there's a miniature thermometer in both "projects"...so you know it's very "Scienc-ey"...<br />
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And now that I'm back to blogging....I'll leave you with this... "MOM BLOG TUTORIAL FAIL" filmed at my house a few weeks ago....<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-43349863951146129922016-02-18T11:52:00.003-05:002016-02-18T11:55:39.669-05:00Dear Shopkin People, Eff YouDear Shopkins Makers,<br />
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I'm equal parts impressed and disgusted with the spectacular stupidity of your absurd product coupled with the wild popularity it has gained in recent months. I mean, let's call a spade a spade here.... It's fucking ridiculous that your plastic grocery items that do absolutely nothing but serve as something else for my kid to lose and cry about are selling like hotcakes. Stores can't even keep these fuckers in stock. I saw a brawl break out recently while Christmas shopping as 2 parents grabbed for the last "season 3" shopkin set Target had in stock. WHAT DO THEY DO???? No, tell me....what's the fucking point?? Are you lacing these things with powdered crack whereby our children are becoming addicted to these small heads of lettuce or green apples that do nothing as they hold them close to their little faces???? I can't keep my kids interested in an amusement park that long....yet somehow they sit for hours obsessed with a half an inch of plastic nothingness????? An avacado with a dumb ass look on it's little plastic face? And when they're not playing with the little figures, they're watching the Shopkins on YouTube! Little hands moving the Shopkins around while a voice in the background takes on a Shopkin persona. And there are seasons???? Oh, remember back in Season 1 when Corn got jacked up on Hennessey and made some bad decisions? What the fuck is wrong with everyone????? And us parents....spending a a hundred bucks on a set of these things....C'MON, how much do they cost for you to make? .08 cents? That's like a 2 million percent mark up. Kudos, Shopkin people....I applaud your success on this absurdity. This is the dumbest shit since the Pet Rock. Touché. One day we'll wake up from our collective Shopkin obsession and feel stupid for having punched a fellow parent in the head on Christmas Eve while shopping for the Mystery Shopkin set from Season 3.<br />
What's next in this foolish plastic franchise?? I see you've moved on to office supplies and clothing accessories. Oh I know, how about an "Adult" line of Shopkins? Sex toy Shopkins....mini handcuffs and dildos, some KY? Condom Shopkins? Little plastic pregnancy tests? Booby tassles? <br />
And to add insult to injury, my dog is currently chewing on a shopkin kumquat as I write this. Great, I have to buy more so my kid's aren't ostracized from the school playground for not have season 69. Eff you, Shopkin's people....and you're little produce, too.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-39953552991498502752015-10-13T10:09:00.000-04:002015-10-13T10:50:25.873-04:00Summer of Exile<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">I'm baaaackkkk!!!!</span><br>
<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">So, it's been a few months... Where have I been? Well...<a href="http://youtu.be/Jw36ivnRHRQ" target="_blank">It's a very complicated case..lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta "what have you's"</a>. Evidently the kids & dogs got together and plotted an uprising a week into the summer vacation. Apparently, they all decided I wasn't properly amusing them so they decided to go rogue & lock me up in the basement. The 4 of them then proceeded to play on their iPads for 2 months straight. Because that's what "fun" is these days. Obviously I'm a terrible mother.. Planning day trips to the beach and rainy day trips to the museum. How dare I tear them away from minecraft and YouTube? For endless hours Ben watched someone named "Dan" talk about mine craft in an Australian accent, while Lauren watched mysterious hands unwrap Shopkins with a delicate voice narrating which "season" each Shopkin was from. Confused? Ya me too. Lauren has since announced that I should set her up with a YouTube account so that she can start making her own YouTube videos. File under: not gonna happen.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">Both kids are now in school full days-Lauren in first grade and Ben in kindergarten. While they're both enjoying school, Ben has some tough mornings parting with mommy. You know.. The old "wrap himself around momma's leg while screaming dramatically at the front door of the school" routine. Yeah.. I'm no stranger to this.. As last year Lauren pulled the same thing. Now I'm a seasoned veteran of these shenanigans.. Last year I'd get in my car and cry, giving in to the never ending "mom guilt". This year, after me and 2 school administrators pried Ben off my leg, I headed to my car, cranked Metallica and sipped my <strike>Bloody Mary </strike>coffee out of my portable mug. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">Funny the difference a year can make.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">I've been volunteering at the school for various things. I'm somehow heading up the "kindergarten family fun night" later this month with a few other moms. We had to come up with a theme...so we decided on "Fall Festival" after my idea of "Wine & Magic Mike movie night" was shot down. Pffffttt...how is that not educational?? I thought "pin the tail on Channing Tatum" would've been a nice coinciding activity?? I also helped out at school picture day a few weeks ago. I got a voucher for a free package of pictures for helping out, which was great since I now have 2 kids to purchase pics for and the cost of these things are out-friggin-rageous. So the night before picture day, I was filling out the form and picking which package I wanted, when the Vodka Tonic I was drinking spilled all over the picture voucher. Shit!!! So I went to pick up the paper and it was so drenched in vodka that it broke off into 4 pieces. In a mother-of-the-year-move, I left it in front of a window to dry overnight, then scotched taped the voucher back together in the morning, folded it up nicely and was able to salvage it for Ben's pic package. Lesson learned. Obviously the moral here is I should be drinking my vodka from a sippy cup.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">We've also instituted a new thing here at home that I like to refer to as "Silly sock day" which is basically where the kids wear mismatched sox everyday under the charade of "being silly and fun" but really just boils down to the fact that my laundry situation has gone off the rails and the first 2 sox I find while rutting around in the clean laundry basket are the ones they're wearing. In my defense....1) They're clean, 2) They're sox. </span><br>
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<span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">Finally, it's October and as you know my most favorite month of the year. It's flippin' beautiful and I can't get enough of the spooky decorations and scary movies. The trees are goreous right now and the weather is your typical "heat on in the morning....AC on in the afternoon"...doesn't get any better than that. Here's what's going on at my house....</span><div><font face="UICTFontTextStyleBody"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi15CS9xdlFx20bYUMxREslmbf2hHJzqc7z4bSKBb9EPZcNAkPKm81K9Au0Kv_YBxwI8HWkrBNjFSdyDxghqJl47z40uk8Xz5QbnD27018KmSJOb5tOjWSsaXPGuxapyyTWrpoRm-VCXxw/s640/blogger-image-1521780790.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi15CS9xdlFx20bYUMxREslmbf2hHJzqc7z4bSKBb9EPZcNAkPKm81K9Au0Kv_YBxwI8HWkrBNjFSdyDxghqJl47z40uk8Xz5QbnD27018KmSJOb5tOjWSsaXPGuxapyyTWrpoRm-VCXxw/s640/blogger-image-1521780790.jpg"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi15CS9xdlFx20bYUMxREslmbf2hHJzqc7z4bSKBb9EPZcNAkPKm81K9Au0Kv_YBxwI8HWkrBNjFSdyDxghqJl47z40uk8Xz5QbnD27018KmSJOb5tOjWSsaXPGuxapyyTWrpoRm-VCXxw/s640/blogger-image-1521780790.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOMj0_nFP26ZrDzBbXK3khygbd4f1mvj2ycFtKA1ZqwCsWh8V_r-3r4d31TcZqgJ9B2feAPdrjjObwht8aV5IU01qghTwC3bIfHdzFAUWaNsnqvlIMjw6k4DVNTQbjH_R63lU3Jbs0MCQ/s640/blogger-image-1082354120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOMj0_nFP26ZrDzBbXK3khygbd4f1mvj2ycFtKA1ZqwCsWh8V_r-3r4d31TcZqgJ9B2feAPdrjjObwht8aV5IU01qghTwC3bIfHdzFAUWaNsnqvlIMjw6k4DVNTQbjH_R63lU3Jbs0MCQ/s640/blogger-image-1082354120.jpg"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOMj0_nFP26ZrDzBbXK3khygbd4f1mvj2ycFtKA1ZqwCsWh8V_r-3r4d31TcZqgJ9B2feAPdrjjObwht8aV5IU01qghTwC3bIfHdzFAUWaNsnqvlIMjw6k4DVNTQbjH_R63lU3Jbs0MCQ/s640/blogger-image-1082354120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidTkuanlX64qlFsXm1P5DbAHA0QO4H5zGaseNeUYZNS-TIVk-n27-qznonYmlo02IQhY7oTUUOnn85DGQ_3exK1pgErOWteTg0uVK_Nu6EFOF8nYF9hNjCkFrTp_ZeSHSfHE194zKPCtM/s640/blogger-image-2083244.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidTkuanlX64qlFsXm1P5DbAHA0QO4H5zGaseNeUYZNS-TIVk-n27-qznonYmlo02IQhY7oTUUOnn85DGQ_3exK1pgErOWteTg0uVK_Nu6EFOF8nYF9hNjCkFrTp_ZeSHSfHE194zKPCtM/s640/blogger-image-2083244.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibge1VnRxL5X0DQQfb-bjZD557m7zOGgjHcDY0qGS-6lLBubnDVIe0SZlbGXgxqF4A-DpIlpW0o-r70P-6eZqBAsaizj_0aCYC2ZfxDYou0QeoigEiE8JuzNO-WTNL5fRAT4tLjKvpq0Q/s640/blogger-image-43326915.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibge1VnRxL5X0DQQfb-bjZD557m7zOGgjHcDY0qGS-6lLBubnDVIe0SZlbGXgxqF4A-DpIlpW0o-r70P-6eZqBAsaizj_0aCYC2ZfxDYou0QeoigEiE8JuzNO-WTNL5fRAT4tLjKvpq0Q/s640/blogger-image-43326915.jpg"></a></div><br></div></div></div>Oh...that last pic is a guy I've been dating...nice guy, has odd taste in food...not a great conversationalist, but his eyes are dreamy. <br></font>
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</div>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-65435100856703663132015-05-13T09:47:00.000-04:002015-05-13T09:47:01.672-04:00Say It Ain't SoEmbarrasing Confession # 287: I keep hearing this song on the radio and everytime I hear it I stop & listen..I know the words...it's in my head all the time. So I finally decide to download it from itunes and upon doing the search, I realize the song is by One Direction. What in the actual fuck??? I like "Night Changes" by One Direction? How can this be? I hate myself for this. So I quickly close out of iTunes without downloading it, and throw my iPhone into the Connecticut River before anyone can find evidence that I actually searched for that song on my phone. I then called AT&T and asked them to shred all their phone data records for the last hour and to change the name on my account to "Jane Smith" just in case. Ok, partially kidding on that last part... but really - this is worse than the time I realized I liked Taylor Swift. So over the next few days, I hear it and turn it off quickly...in an attempt to deny my love of the song "Night Changes". Finally, as I was driving up to Boston on Saturday to see my mother, I gave in and let myself listen to it. And sing. Loud. Ok, ok..I admit it... I like a One Direction Song. There, I said it. I've since downloaded it and have enjoyed listening to it on repeat 632 times. I now have to download Metallica's "Master of Puppets" in it's entirety in order to offset the lone One Direction Song. <br />
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Now onto shenanigans that involves embarassing my kids instead of myself...<br />
Here's a overview of Ben's week... Last Thursday he fell running up the 3 steps from the famiy room to the kitchen and hit his chin on the edge of a step. His chin opened up, he freaked out and off to the emergency room we went. It took 4 Dr's, nurses & me to hold him down because he was NOT about to let anyone touch the chin. 3 stitches later (and a case of PTSD for mommy), he walks out and proceeds to tell everyone about how it was no big deal and it didn't hurt. HAHA! The day he was set to have his stitches out - 6 days later - we were at a field trip for his preschool at the Olive Garden where Ben took a bite of pizza and lost his first tooth. It was an exciting moment...all his little preschool friends "high fiving" him. So I put the tooth in a cup (which he carried around all day to show everyone we encountered - including the Dr who took out his stitches) and I warned him like 67 times NOT to lose the tooth, because then the tooth fairy wouldn't come. Flash scene to 6pm - he had the tooth by his side in that cup (or so I thought) as he watched his after dinner TV show, when I hear him start crying. By the time I got in there he had worked himself up into a full on frenzy. When I asked him what happened, he said "Mommy I'm SORRY!!! Don't be mad, Mommyyyyyy!", and I assumed he had misplaced the tooth. Ok, not the end of the world, right? So I ask him what happened to the tooth, and he says "I stuck it up my nose"...then breaks down into a sobbing fit of hysteria. HE STUCK HIS TOOTH UP HIS NOSE! I literally laughed so hard I cried. I mean...you can't make this stuff up. So I immediately call my mom (who is a nurse) and she tells me that if I can't get the tooth out of his nose, we'll have to go to the ER...where we'll surely end up with our own personal reserved parking spot. Meanwhile Ben is sobbing yelling "this is horrible!!" And then Lauren - who can't handle the magnitude of drama in the situation - starts crying. So I have 2 hysterical kids - one with a tooth stuck up his nose... which sends me off into another fit of laughter - which probably makes me a horrible mom, but let's face it - what else could I do?<br />
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So I block of one of his nostrils and have him blow out the other (basic "get a foreign object out of your kids nose" 101), and thank GOD the tooth came out. So that was a few days ago. Every so often, I'll ask Ben, "What lesson did we learn buddy?" and he'll say "Don't put a tooth up your nose", very matter of factly. <br />
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As the spring arrives in full force, life is good. I've been focusing on my yoga, meditation & really enjoying the beauty of spring. As you know, I love going to cemeteries - there's one literally 5 minutes from my house that's absoutley beautiful. In fact, I'm writing this blog from there right now. I'm sitting on my yoga mat in the sun on a little hill of this beautiful place. I'm feeling blessed and lucky. I'm exactly where I should be even though it's been a tough road to get here. Change is never easy, but sometimes absolutely neccesary for growth. As the sun shines on me and my Dunkin Donuts ice coffee today, I feel blessed with all I have and most especially my awesome mom & sister who have been my rocks in times of need or to text about our obsession with the show "Pretty Little Liars" which is what I'm currently bingewatching. <br />
Well, HAPPY SPRING! Tip of the day = don't stick anything up your nose :)<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-87880569002113702472015-03-30T13:09:00.001-04:002015-03-30T13:09:33.734-04:00Welcome to Fantasy IslandSometimes I wonder how personal to get with my blog... Do I keep it light? How much do I put out there of my own story? It's a fine line... And generally I enjoy relating funny stories about parenting<br />
or my Seinfeld- esque life. I like to laugh and try not to take life too seriously- but let's face it, we all have times in life where no matter how much we don't let things affect us... Sometimes they just do. We find ourselves in a situation that's just hard to make light of. It's life. Sometimes we're riding that wave of life and the wave takes us in a direction we weren't expecting and don't like. And the wave crashes us into the shore leaving us broken and bruised and we look around for a boat or any kind of raft (even those little neon plastic arm floaties would do) so we can get back to where we were before, but there's nothing but the little island we've been left on and a mean looking stormy ocean. So we have no choice but to swim the stormy sea with no boat or life jacket and it's really scary. It's dark and stormy (isn't that the name of a drink? Dark & Stormy? Note to self: look into how to make that) and vast- yet, somehow you know through out the entire haggering experience that you'll somehow be ok, and you have faith that the ocean, though it will knock you around in the process, will eventually lead you to a sunny, beautiful tropical resort where there's a cool reggae band playing and Mr. Rourke from Fantasy Island will be waiting to hand you a fruity drink with a little umbrella in it.<br />
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Well, I've been in the ocean for a while, but the waves have settled and the sun is peeking though from behind the clouds and I have one of those plastic tube things with a big ducky on the front...<br />
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(beggars can't be choosers).. And I'm just yards away from the tropical island and I can see Mr. Rourke waiting for me with the umbrella drink :). I'm hoping to stay at this resort for a while... I need to soak up some sun and I hear there are shirtless cabana boys with tight black pants and nice tans there to fan guests with those big leaves... So... Yeah. <br />
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And things in life always show up when you need them most. Yoga has been such an awesome outlet.. This teacher training couldn't have come at a better time in my life. Speaking of which, it will be over in May!! I can't even believe it! It's been such a journey and I will miss it. I've been aiming to practice yoga 3-4 times per week. It keeps me sane (or as sane as is possible for me :). Meditation.. Although I'm still working on "quieting the mind".. Has also been a great tool. When I can stop the mental buzz for even a few moments, I'm amazed at what I find & figure out about myself. It's a work in progress, but when I can go 3 minutes without singing either a Taylor Swift or Fresh Beat Band song in my head- I consider it a success!<br />
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And I'll leave you with an amusing story that will surely inspire you to vote for me as "Mother of The Year"...<br />
So I can have a potty mouth. I mean... I keep it in check most of the time, but I've been known to wait until the kids go to bed so I can freely use my bad words. Maybe it's a Boston thing..who knows? Anyway, I'm ever so careful around the kids of course.. But on occasion I slip up. And it's never outright blatant- it's usually under my breath when I'm frustrated. Well, my children don't miss a thing. They're like little super sleuths.. Nothing gets past those 2. So apparently one day as I was emptying the vacuum into the trash, it spilled over and went everywhere and I said.. "this fucking vacuum!!!" And I honestly didn't think anyone heard it, but I guess Ben did. He heard it, and stored it in his little head and waited for an appropriate time to use it. So days later, as I was vacuuming the living room, Ben was jumping on the couch and I told him to stop and get off, to which he replied "No Mommy! I won't get off so you can fucking vacuum!" He assumed the 2 words went together. I was horrified and amused all at the same time. I sent him to his room for using naughty language and then explained that mommy said a bad word and that I shouldn't have said that, but it was a mistake and I wouldn't say it again! Then I secretly laughed to myself and vowed to be more careful. But I'm holding my breath and hoping the next time he sees a vacuum it doesn't trigger anything :). Me and my potty mouth!! (Sorry mom & dad!). </div>
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Of course now I want to end this blog with "Have a great fucking week" :). But I won't. Instead I'll say Happy Monday!<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-52816003931963043302015-02-24T10:35:00.000-05:002015-02-24T10:59:57.898-05:00There's a Sock In My Orange Bowl<div><br></div>
Ask, and you shall receive... I had to go and ask for snow in my last blog, and here we are. It's been basically snowing nonstop, with like 18 feet of snow on the ground and another foot or two coming each day. Ok, that's really dramatic- but seriously it's ri-goddamn-diculous. Winter is here with a vengeance. The snow days are piling up, and there's only so many art and science projects I can do to keep the kids entertained before we end up watching Frozen again, or taunting Siri on the iPad for fun.<br>
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The other night we were reading a book before bed, and the kids started asking cute questions about when they were babies. We looked at some old pictures and they wanted to know how we came up with their names and what other names we had considered.. So I told Lauren that we always knew she was going to be Lauren Allison and the only other name we really considered was Allison Grace. Lauren informed me that we made a good choice and that she likes her name, but wanted to know why we hadn't considered the name "Rainbow". And she was really perplexed by this, as if it was the logical 3rd choice after Allison and Lauren. I'm guessing this has something to do with her love of My Little Pony's "Rainbow Dash". <br>
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Ben was then excited to hear about how his name came to be. Then funny thing with him was, as soon as I found out I was having a boy, I already picked out the name "Nicholas". I loved that name and was 99% sure that would be his name.... Until he was born. He just didn't look like a Nicholas. As we got to know him over the next day (yes, he was unnamed for an entire day while we mulled over the perfect name).. Suddenly he was Benjamin. It seemed so obvious - yes, Benjamin:). Benjamin Ryan. And it was the perfect choice for him :). Hearing his story, Ben has requested I call him "Nicholas" sometimes just for fun. Which of course got Lauren to thinking she'd like to be referred to as "Rainbow". At random times now in the grocery store or out in public, they'll insist on me calling them "Rainbow & Nicholas"... Sure, why not. Hop aboard the crazy town express... Rainbow & Nicholas will be your hosts.<br>
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Benjamin/Nicholas/Bunny actually just celebrated his 5th birthday last week. We had his birthday party at one of those bounce house places over the weekend which turned out to be lots of fun.. </div>
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Ben and his preschool classmates got to run all their pent up energy off after being couped up in the house for what seems like months.. You could hear the collective buzz of energy from the 20 kids as they ran and bounced and screamed. If it were possible to bottle all that energy, you'd have a proprietary concoction for an insane energy drink that would surely rival Red Bull. Although the party was a success, I woke up at 3am the night before and realized I'd forgotten to put together "goodie bags".. (Insert collective gasps of disgust here). The party started at 10am so I had 7 hours to figure this out. Upon a Google search, I found many forums where absent minded moms just like myself had found themselves in a similar predicament. At first I thought it might not be a big deal to forego the party bags altogether... But then I started reading, and this is like a whole "thing". Throw everything you thought you knew about parenting out the window and heed this one piece of advice: DO NOT even attempt to host a 5 year old birthday party without a party favor of some sort, or else you'll have anarchy on your hands. It's simply not done. I'll spare you the painstaking hours of research I did by telling you that it's acceptable to give just one nicer party favor that ties in with the theme of the party versus putting together an actual bag of "goodies". If this isn't life changing advice, I don't know what is. So since Ben's cake was Hot Wheels, I picked up 25 Hot Wheel cars and let each child chose one to take as they left. It was a success and to the best of my knowledge there were no scuffles in the parking lot between party goers who didn't get the Hot Wheel they wanted. Whew!<br>
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Lastly, if you're wondering about the title of this blog, it's as simple as this: there's an actual sock in my orange bowl. Don't overthink it. <br>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-43028689334540163382015-01-18T17:28:00.000-05:002015-01-18T17:28:26.454-05:00January Blues and a Yummy Cajun Shrimp RecipeWell, here we are. It's January again, and as promised, it's bleak and gray. I'm not going to mince words here... I don't like January. It's hard to wrap my arms around. It's not even snowing. If it's going to be Janurary, bring on a snowstorm. A REAL one - none of this whimpy 2 inches stuff. Give me a blizzard!!! At least then, it's pretty and we can go sledding and enjoy the outside..and make awesome fires (in the fireplace, of course)..and stay in and not have to worry about getting the kids to school. I can embrace that. But we're not even getting snow -instead it's cold and gray and BLAH! I've managed to get out for a few hikes with Molly despite the weather, but for the most part - once Christmas has come and gone, winter loses it's luster....<br />
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^^Truer words were never spoken. If I could somehow finagle it, I'd go to Florida and live with my sister for the month of January. But then we have all the pesky details - like the kid's going to school and my roving gang of animals. I have visions of my sister coming home from work one Janurary day to find I've moved my llamas into her 2nd bedroom. Kidding - I don't have llamas...but it's a lot of fun to type. Llama. 2 L's. Why not just one L? Lama. Get's the point across. Who thought the 2nd L was necessary? Losing an L in no way compromises the integrity of the word. When saying the word, it's not like people are going to know you dropped one of the L's. In fact, when I say it, I ALWAYS secretly drop one of the L's. To this day, I've never had anyone call me out on it. So...</div>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6044100344734605622" name="more"></a>Yeah...it's January.<br />
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As mentioned in a previous blog, in an effort to entertain ourselves, Brian & I have been using <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00PX1Z45M/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00PX1Z45M&linkCode=as2&tag=tiatanmar-20&linkId=C5HUL7B7QCKBFIHN" target="_blank">Lauren's Frozen karaoke machine</a>. Things have totally gotten out of hand. We have it all set up in the Family room with youtube connected to the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DR0PDNE/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00DR0PDNE&linkCode=as2&tag=tiatanmar-20&linkId=P25N4TZO4VPLDA2L" target="_blank">Chromecast</a> on the tv so we can read the lyrics to basically any song we want. It's gotten so that the kid's are requesting that we "do songs" before they go to bed. Yep. It started off innocently enough... doing the usual karaoke songs - Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive", Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home"... And then one night we started to look for more exciting songs. Brian started exploring his "thug rap" side and wound up doing "Tricky" by Run DMC. I thought it would be fun to do some AC/DC and somewhow ended up singing the classic "Big Balls" complete with a britsh accent. Which is, of course, a song about ballroom dances. By this point the kids were in the other room playing and we figured they were none the wiser. So the next evening when they asked if we could do songs, Ben asked if I could sing the "Big Balls" song - totally assuming it was about soccer balls. Things have gone off the rails here... </div>
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The other thing I'm totally obsessed with now is bingewatching "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000NDEXK2/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B000NDEXK2&linkCode=as2&tag=tiatanmar-20&linkId=LAEXHB65ECOKHANC" target="_blank">24</a>"...ya, I realize I'm like 10 years late to that party - but we recently discovered it on Netflix and Kiefer Sutherland has since moved into my living room. I love being really into a show and being able to watch 3 seasons in a week. The instant gratification is SOOOOOO wrong and yet so right. And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go feed my Lama. I'll leave you with a recipe I made last night - Cajun Shrimp & Crabmeat bake in a Montery Cheese sauce..</div>
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1 pound cooked shrimp (I buy the precooked frozen)</div>
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12 ounces of flaked crabmeat</div>
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1 <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">green pepper (chopped)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">1 medium onion (chopped)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">1 stalk celery (chopped)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">2 cloves garlic (minced)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">3 tablespoon butter</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">1 cup cooked long grain white rice</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">4 cups torn baby spinach - stems removed</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">2 tablespoons flour</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">1-2 teaspoons <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0035JGRJQ/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B0035JGRJQ&linkCode=as2&tag=tiatanmar-20&linkId=RXYTQT67IJB6JN5Q" target="_blank">cajun seasoning</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">2 cups milk</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">2 cups shredded montery jack cheese </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">1/2 cup shredded parmesan cheese</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">1/2 cup chopped scallions</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Thaw shrimp and put aside. Preheat oven to 350. In a large skillet cook the green pepper, onion, celery, spinach & garlic in 1 tablespoon of butter for 4 minutes. Transfer to a medium bowl and add in the cooked rice. Stir to combine. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">In a small saucepan, melt 2 tablespoons of butter over medium heat. Stir in flour and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0035JGRJQ/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B0035JGRJQ&linkCode=as2&tag=tiatanmar-20&linkId=RXYTQT67IJB6JN5Q" target="_blank">cajun</a> seasoning and cook for 1 minute while constantly stirring. Stir in milk and cook until thickened and bubbly. Reduce heat to low and add montery jack cheese. Stir until cheese melts. Mix in with rice mixture and combine well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Lightly grease a glass baking dish (15 x 9). Pour mixture evenly into dish and sprinkle parmesan cheese over the top. Bake uncovered 25-30 minutes or until bubbly. Sprinkle with chopped scallions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">YUM!</span></div>
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-65846286192629318212014-12-27T16:34:00.000-05:002014-12-27T16:34:17.745-05:00A Fish By Any Other NameSometimes I'll read an article about Sardines being a superfood and I'll get all inspired to eat "healthy fats" and head out to the organic, gluten free section of the gorcery store. I get on this righteous high horse where I'll fill my basket with several cans of wild caught sardines, black bean pasta, Mac & ChResse (note the "R" in cheese.. it's basically a dairy free, gluten free, healthy version of mac & cheese which is made with organic rice pasta and a mustard/nutritional yeast that substitutes as the cheese sauce), soy veggie burgers, and the like. I'll stand in the checkout line feeling "holier than thou", secretly scoffing at the shoppers around me who have Little Debbie snack cakes & Deli meat in their cart. I imagine I'm on some path of edible, organic enlightenment where I'll eat my way to some sort of health food induced nirvana. I'll then schlepp my healthy haul home where I proceed to purge all of the junk food occupying my fridge and cabinets into a hefty bag and toss it into the trash where it belongs. I pause when I get to the Cheese-It's, trying to justify that this yummy cracker snack possesses some sort of nutrional value, then spare them from the purge and hide them behind the organic raw almonds in the snack cabinet (moderation, right?) I then plot out my super healthy lunch which will consist of Sardines, Kale, organic kidney beans and a homemade olive oil & lemon juice dressing. As I prepare this lunch, I envision myself writing a "clean eating" blog, relaying my "journey" into the world of health food. <br />
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I then sit down to eat, and realize that even the smell of the sardines is nauseating. I hate sardines. No...no...I don't...once I start eating them, my body will realize that I need this miraclous superfood for omega 3's or 6's or whatever and my dewy young complexion will be thanking me once I start eating these babies regularly. I then put a tiny piece of the sardine in my mouth and immediately regret it. NO...I can't. I just CAN'T. What the hell was I thinking? The mere thought of sardines elicits a physical response where my face contorts like I just watched Miley Cirus twerking in a Catholic Church Christmas service. I can't even bring myself to eat a leaf of kale that the sardine touched. Why the hell are sardines a superfood? Why can't Velveeta be a superfood? Damn you, 6 cans of sardines I stil have in the shelf!! I take the remaining sardines on my plate and hustle them down to feed to the cats, then I head to Panera for the U Pick 2 Brocolli Cheddar Soup and Sierra Turkey Sandwich combo. YUM! There's a moderate area between the black and white that is"health fanatic" and "processed food junkie".... and that grey area can be found over at Panera :) On a related side note - if anyone is looking for Sardines (like for fishing bait or something)...give me a call.<br />
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In other non-sardine related news, my yoga teacher training is just awesome! A few weeks ago our training class held a "Community Teach" where we offered 3 classes to the public at a greatly discounted rate and we got to teach the classes :) We each had a portion of the class we had practiced and taught. The classes were full and there were real live people who looked to us for yoga direction. I was the first to teach, and was pretty darn nervous. I decided if things started to go awry, I'd just embrace it and do something crazy like break into a song & dance routine to the popular 80's song "She's a Maniac". Go down in yoga teacher training history as "the girl who lost her mind at community teach." Luckily it didn't come to that, but it's always nice to have a Plan B. <br />
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Finally, I hope you're all enjoying your holidays! This was the first year we didn't host anything holiday related at our house. We went to Brian's parents for Christmas Eve and my parents for Christmas Day...no cooking or cleaning or clean-up afterward. I have to admit it was a nice change. The kids have basically been in their PJ's for 3 days playing with all the toys that Santa brought. By far the messiest toy they got was "Crazy Sand"....it's sand that never dries out. It comes in a host of differet colors and there's A LOT of it. A lot. It's pretty much impossible to contain in one room and so it's been tracked from one end of the house to the next....which is all part of the experience. I'm fairly certain this toy will be "misplaced" by the end of the weekend. On the other hand, we're all having a blast with the Frozen karyoke machine Lauren got from Santa. Last night after a few glasses of wine, Brian & I pulled that baby out and belted out tunes to many an 80's classic as the dogs sat on the couch as our "audience" and looked on both puzzled and horrified. <br />
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Well I'm off to enjoy the beautiful weather (sunny and 50!).... I have to admit that I'm actually looking forward to a good snowstorm come January. Talk to me at the end of January and I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune (into the Frozen Karyoke machine, no less)... As we all know, January is the month I typically start losing my mind :) <br />
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! <br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-69058515311450359272014-12-05T14:13:00.002-05:002014-12-05T14:13:50.500-05:00November - The Good, The Bad and The Sad...<div>
<b><u>Happy Birthday, Lauren! </u></b></div>
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Lauren Allison turned 6 while we were on vacation in Florida last week! We had a blast and celebrated by getting Mani/Pedi's, going to the Aquarium and seeing Winter the Dolphin (who is also a celebrity :), petting the stingrays, going for a walk on the beach, then going bowling & having cake. It was a unique opportunity to spend her birthday away in Florida and spend a whole day celebrating as a family. It was a great vacation and the infusion of sun & warmth was enough to recharge me for winter (talk to me in January and I'll see where I stand with that..)<br />
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Lauren's doing great in school and has even managed to buy lunch and try new things despite her protests. She is a PICKY eater!! I mean crazy picky. It's sort of become a battle of the wills now - with us trying to get her to at least TRY new things and her literally sitting at the table looking at the "offending food" and crying. I'm obviously a horrible mother...trying to get her to eat a blueberry and a cooked carrot. But I'm a softie - I totally admit it. When I give her something for dinner and she won't eat it, I worry she'll go to bed hungry and then make her something else for dinner that I know she'll eat. Everyone (including her pediatrician) has told me to make one meal and if she doesn't eat it, that's it until morning. UGHHHHHH!!! I just can't. And so one day I realized we were out of her signature peanut butter I usually make her for lunch, so she had to buy the school lunch - GASP! After a morning full of protests and her telling me that she was "freaking out"...she went off to school and bought lunch. When I picked her up from school that day, she told me "It was the best lunch ever" and that she tried carrots and grapes and "some yellow vegetable". WHAT??? Here I sat at the dinner table for HOURS, painstakingly bribing her to eat one bite of a carrot while she wept, and then she goes off to school and eats everything in sight?? Mmmm Hmmm.... Touché, Lauren....Touché...<br />
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<b><u>Shake it off Bunny, I mean Ben...</u></b><br />
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Ben & I were driving home from preschool the other day and I was flipping around on the radio and came across Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off".. Of course I kept flipping. But Ben immediately starting screaming "NOOOOO Mommy!!! I want THAT song!" What the....??? To avoid a total shitstorm i put it back on, and I look back to see Ben bopping around in the back. I asked him how he even knew that song to which he replied "I just know, Mommy.. Can you turn it up?" Umm... Ok. Sorry to interrupt your "flow", Bunny..<br />
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In other Ben news....I missed "brown day" at Ben's preschool...each month they have a color day where they focus on a color and the kids wear the themed color (shirt, pants, and bring a treasure from home) and then the kids graph it all out with help from the teachers. Anyway, I've never missed a color day for either of the kids, but this....I totally forgot! I felt horrible. We went in and all the kids were wearing brown and had their brown treasures from home, and my little Ben had his blue shirt on and I serioulsy felt like the worst mom in the world. I realize I'm totally blowing this out of proportion, but here's how my thought process went..."Brown day!!! Holy shit! Poor Ben...he's the only one not wearing brown. I'm an asshole. How did I not see this on the preschool calendar on the fridge?? What's wrong with me? I'm so overwhelmed. I have too much going on. I need to simplify my life. What does that even MEAN?? I need to stop playing games on my phone and get off Facebook. Yes, that's it...I'm distracted. Fucking electronics. Mom's had it so much easier in the 70's. No email, no social media. It's ruining our society. Plus the clothes were so much cooler back then. I'm such a hippie. I was born in the wrong decade. I wonder if there are any vintage clothing boutiques around here? I should look that up when I get in the car. THE CAR!! Yes, maybe I can find some brown treasure in the car for Ben - there's gotta be a rogue matchbox car under the seat that has some brown in it..."<br />
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And so I scurried out to the car and checked under the seats only to find a half chewed dog bone. I breifly contemplated the fact it IS light brown.... NO! No...that's just wrong. And I drove away from the preschool teary eyed wondering if my child would ever recover from the Brown Day Debacle of '14. While part of me totally gets that in the scheme of things this is no big deal, the other part of me feels like a big mom failure. This is obviously Facebook's fault.<br />
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<b><u>Molly The Diva</u></b><br />
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Molly, my foster dog, was spayed a few weeks ago. She's 5 years old and had obviously been bred many many times before landing in a NYC shelter. So we had her spayed on Wednesday and by Friday started looking around the house and whimpering. I checked her incision and that looked fine.<br />
She was eating. But she was clearly upset by something. Finally, she located the stuffed animal bin in the kid's playroom and took a stuffed animal back to the couch. Ok. I figured she was just looking for something to chew on. Over the course of the next several hours, she'd hoarded 3 more stuffed animals on the couch and was licking and seemingly caring for them. She wouldnt leave them. I started to realize that after the spay, her hormones were a bit whacky and probably mimicked that of post pregnancy. She thought these stuffed animals were her pups!!! For the love of GOD! And so all weekend, Molly held court on the couch, caring for her faux litter. I had to bring her food in so she'd eat, and in order to get her to go out to potty, I'd have to take one of the "pups" and coax her outside with it...then stand there snuggling it while she went potty. Once she was done, she'd hop up and take the "pup" and head in and back to the couch. As I stood out there in the rain one evening, holding Lauren's Hello Kitty umbrella & snuggling a stuffed cow while Molly went potty...I wondered how I'd arrived at such a moment.<br />
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Molly then took a 10 day trip to my mother's house while we were on vacation in Florida. Grandma of course spoiled her, and bought her coats, and even a Christmas sweater. Molly went to doggy day camp every day where she played & got lots of love from the staff. And she is also now on a gourmet diet. I sent her to my mom's on dry dog food - a quality grain-free food called Taste of The Wild.. not too shabby! She came back on such meals as "grass fed organic ground beef & rice" as well as various chicken stews, pureed chicken breast and organic dog food cans which my mother had labeled "really likes" or "doesn't care for". Yep. Now Molly's looking for home cooked meals and basically refuses to eat her dry food. Why not? I have all the time in the world... while I'm at it I might as well start making the cats seafood casseroles.<br />
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<b><u>Jesse James</u></b> </div>
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Last month we lost our sweet tuxedo kitty, Jesse to cancer. It was so sudden and totally unexpected. He was only 10 years old. I've had him since he was 2 weeks. I rescued his mom and her 4 kittens 10 years ago. Jesse was so sweet I just couldn't let him go, so I kept him. He was a happy go lucky, sweet boy who loved to snuggle. When Lauren came along he took to her immediately. He'd sit beside her on the floor while she watched Baby Einstein at 3 months old. He's been attached to her and would sleep with her & Ben and follow them everywhere. One day about 4 weeks ago, I noticed he didn't come down to eat that day. He was sitting up on the kids bed. The next morning we found him hiding in the bathtub and I knew something was wrong. When I picked him up, his bones were so pronounced...like he had lost muscle mass. He had been seemingly fine just days before. I called the vet and took him in immediatley. As I was sitting with him waiting at the vet's office, I noticed the inside of his ears looked yellow. As I seperated his fur on his back I realized his skin was yellow all over. By the time the vet came in, I knew it was serious. Tests confirmed he had a cancerous mass in his pancreas which had spread to his liver. There was no saving him. They could do chemo to lengthen his life maybe by a few months, but he'd have to be fed by a feeding tube. His quality of life would've been awful. As I held him, I could see the sparkle of life in his eyes had dimmed. He was limp and sick and completely opposite from his usual happy, lively dimeanor. It had just happened so fast . There was no time to absorb it... he was suffering and we had to do what was right by him, so we opted to put him to sleep. The vet gave me some time with him to say goodbye, and I swear he looked at me like he knew what I was saying. I knew it was the right thing to let him go, but my heart was broken. I prayed that my grandpa (my mother's father) would be there waiting for him on the other side. My Grandpa was a huge animal lover who saved countless dogs & cats over the years. He'd take my mother as a little girl and they'd go to the pound and take dogs that were about to be put down, and he'd find them homes. I hoped he'd be there waiting for Jesse. The irony was coming home after and feeling such a void in the house with Jesse's absence. Even with 3 other kitties, an English Mastiff, and my foster pittie, there was still an emptyness in the house without Jesse. Rest in Peace, Sweet Boy...</div>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-73752433146255534612014-10-31T11:38:00.001-04:002014-10-31T11:38:25.985-04:00A Picture's Worth A Thousand RetakesHAPPY HALLOWEEN! I love love LOVE Halloween! The entire month of October, really. This fall has been absolutely gorgeous and I've been trying to get out and hike as often as possible. I've been taking some awesome pictures of the fall foliage and hope to actually print them out and put them into a collage or something. I'm a picture taking maniac and currently have thousands of pictures on my phone. I need to pare down, as it's hard to keep up with. I try to get them all onto Snapfish so they're saved somewhere in case my phone takes a swim in a duck pond or what have you, but that doesn't always pan out that way. My last phone (which was waterlogged at the beach this summer) contains a gazillion pictures that never made it to snapfish. It makes me wonder if we take too many pictures. Back in the day when I was growing up, my dad would pull out the old Nikkon Camera and take a few pics of each holiday, birthday, etc. Back when you had to buy film and load it into the camera. A roll of 20 would probably last him at least a few holidays. He'd have them printed out and put them into photo albums which are neatly perserved in the basement along with several rotary phones. When I'm feeling nostalgic I can look through the photo albums. It wasn't overkill...one album contains the first 5 years of my life. Some pics are blurry or off center, and that's ok. Now, I feel like we take so many pictures trying to capture perfection that it kind of gets "watered down"...know what I mean? I could fill an entire album of Lauren's first Christmas. And it's hard to go back and look through 200 pictures of one holiday and pare them down to say 10 pics to represent that first Christmas. I have printed out pics laying around all over the house, not quite sure what to do with them, and thousands on my phone that have yet to even be printed. It's forever on my "to-do" list to sit down and sift through them, but it's a huge undertaking. I know this is a silly "first world problem" in the scheme of things, but it makes me realize that overall I need to simplify. Take less pictures, be present in the moment and enjoy it versus trying to get the perfect picture of it.<br />
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Yes, I take a lot of pictures at cemeteries. I totally have an <a href="http://www.tiarastantrumsandmartinis.com/2014/05/meditating-in-cemeteries-and-other.html" target="_blank">obsession with cemeteries..</a>..<br />
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In other news (and silly first world issues) I find myself totally baffled over this current mystery unravelling here in my very own kitchen. So - on most ovens - probably all ovens- there's a setting that says "Self Clean". If I'm understanding this correctly, the oven is suggesting that it will clean itself once that button has been pushed. Right?<br />
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So...let's say, for example, that an applie pie exploded in my oven, leaving a sticky, gooey mess behind that now burns off each time I turn my oven letting off enough smoke to set off every fire detector in the house (this is a hypothetical, of course). So my choices are either 1) Go out to the store, purchase "Easy Off" oven cleaner, latex gloves and a huge sponge. Come home, spray in on the inside of my oven, wait 3 hours while it "sets", open all the windows to avoid the aersol chemical shitstorm I've just unleashed in my kitchen, then procede to put the entire top half of my body INTO the oven emitting said fumes, and scrub down the mess by hand....undoubtedly needing some type of bucket filled with water in which to rinse out my huge sponge in between wipes. OR...<br />
B) Turn on the "Self Clean" option and let the oven clean itself while I go watch my neighbor's yard guy bag leaves in hopes he'll get hot and take his shirt off. <br />
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Do you see where I'm going with this? Well obviously, that I need one of those 80 degree fall days and a good pair of binolculars. Sure. But as far as this oven dilemma, why would anyone chose to clean it themselves if this self cleaning option exists?? I mean, it almost seems too easy. Like a trick. I admit, I'm kind of nervous to push that button. Like, what if I hit it, and suddenly a team of oven cleaners screeches down my street and into my driveway, hops out with all their oven cleaning gear and pushes me out of the way as they make a beeline for my kitchen. Then once the oven cleaning is complete, I get billed for it at the end of the month? Like an "on demand" movie? There has to be some catch to this whole thing. Has anyone every used the self cleaning option? Have YOU? What happens? I'm dying to know. <i>WHAT THE HELL IS THE CATCH???? </i><br />
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Anyway, while that mystery gets worked...life here is all kinds of crazy, so of course it seemed like a great time to bring in a foster dog! And so a few weeks ago, we welcomed Molly Luna Star, a sweet pup out of the Manhattan Shelter who was on "doggie death row". In all honestly there was no plan to take any more animals in....but somehow, Molly's story (FKA Estrella) found me and I couldn't get her sweet little face out of my head. She'd clearly been bred many times, and then dumped in a shelter. It killed me to think that she may never know the love of a real family and to be treated like a little princess. She's a black dog...and typically they don't get adopted out of the shelter, so the odds were stacked against her. So she's here with us, and we're fostering her through <a href="http://imaginepetrescue.org/" target="_blank">Imagine Pet rescue</a>. I'm honeslty amazed that such an awesome dog was almost put down. This dog rocks. She's about 5 yrs old and all she wants is snuggles and to follow her humans around. That's it. She's great with the kids and our dog, Brynn. Please "like" her Facebook page and share it...we're on a quest to find her the perfect forever home..</div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Molly-Is-Looking-For-Her-Furever-Home/301167683422742?ref=aymt_homepage_panel" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/pages/Molly-Is-Looking-For-Her-Furever-Home/301167683422742?ref=aymt_homepage_panel</a><i><br /></i>
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<i>MOLLY LUNA STAR :)</i>
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Have a Happy, Haunted & Safe Halloween!! <br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-30504456136487081112014-10-09T17:23:00.000-04:002014-10-09T17:23:00.980-04:00Dude, Where's My 4 Year Old??So it's been a whole month since I wrote a blog. Since then, I've started my 200 hour yoga teacher training - it's 1 full weekend per month (Fri night, all day Sat & Sun) and an additional 1 Saturday per month. Also, at least 1 yoga class per week is required. It's a lot of yoga. I love yoga, but I have to admit that I've been challenged both physically and mentally as I embark on this journey. I consider myself in "good shape" and pretty flexible, but after that first weekend of training, every since muscle in my body was sore. Even my fingers hurt. I also found myself in a very spiritual place. Although we all know that yoga is a spiritual practice, I'd never spent so much condensed time thinking, meditating, reflecting and observing myself. By the end of the weekend, it felt almost strange coming home to life in full swing. I needed time to decompress. It was a totally unexpected "side effect" of this training, and one that I honeslty don't know that I would've been ready for had I started this training a few years ago. Even last year, for that matter. <br />
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I suppose things in your life show up exactly when you need them. Training, lessons, teachings, people, etc. I'm embarking on a new journey in many aspects of my life, and yoga has really helped guide me. There are times in our lives when suddenly everything is in upheaval and change is inevitable. I'm learning to ride the wave and not struggle against it. I'm learning that change, although hard and typically uncomfortable, is sometimes necessary. Sometime while riding the wave, we get tossed around and bumped up against things...maybe even get a toe bitten off by a shark (kidding of course - all of my toes are intact ;) But I suppose this is an unavoidable aspect of life...getting tossed around and not sure where we'll end up. We all experience that feeling and I guess instead of worrying about where this wave is taking me, I need to relax and enjoy the journey no matter what obstacles come my way. <br />
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Anyway, Benjamin started preschool a few weeks ago and he's basically turned into a teenager overnight. The first day I picked him up from preschool (which he LOVES), he informed me that I should no longer call him "Bunny" (my cute little nickname I've had for him since he was born..), but instead I was to refer to him as Ben or Benjamin. WHAT???!! After a little back and forth, I finally got him to agree that I could call him Bunny as long it was not in front of his new friends at school. Also, I notice on the playground playing with his little friends after school, they call each other "Dude". Do you LOVE it?? DUDE! He's 4. <br />
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Meanwhile, I'm happy to report that Lauren has stopped the tears (for the most part) and is now enjoying life as a Kindergartener/Diva. She still has her moments, but NOTHING like it was and most days she's excited to get to school to see her friends and her "handsome art teacher". Oh yes, my 5 year old announced at dinner one evening that she was looking at him and then got embarrased when he noticed, but she couldnt help it since he's so handsome. Ohhhhh for the love of God. We then attended an ice cream social at the school where we ran into her art teacher and she batted her little eyelashes and smiled every time he walked by. I don't know what's happening to my kids, but I'm feeling like I'm on an episode of Beverly Hills 90210. (The old school one...not the remake. Naturally.) Here are a few pics of Brenda & Brandon on a recent hike....<br />
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Also prime Apple Picking month is upon us again. We went last week and <a href="http://www.tiarastantrumsandmartinis.com/2013/10/break-out-winter-coat-and-orange-flip.html" target="_blank">faced the same confusion in the apple orchard as last year.</a> In the end, however, I made a KICK A$$$$ apple pie. Ok, I look up recipes on google all the time, even though I have like 2,700 on Pinterest. Needless to say, I've tried a bunch on apple pie recipes, but <a href="http://allrecipes.com/recipe/apple-pie-by-grandma-ople/" target="_blank">THIS ONE </a>is seriously the absolute best. Go make it now. Here's a picture of my masterpiece...<br />
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PS....Don't tell, but this is totally a store bought crust. Just before I put the pie in the oven, I brush egg whites on top of it to give it that glaze. I'm not sure if that's even really a "thing", I may have seen that on an episode of Three's Company...but either way, it works! Happy Baking :)<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-26465578740665910382014-09-06T12:55:00.002-04:002014-09-06T12:57:46.590-04:00It's A Jungle Out There (And By "Out There" I mean Kindergarten)If you don't already have children and are wondering if you're ready....ask yourself these questions:<br />
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Do you want to feel guilty 100% of the time? Do you want to feel like every decision you make has the potential to destroy your child's psychological and moral fabric? Does the idea of financial and emotional indentured servitude appeal to you? Does the prospect of being woken up several times a night by miniature humans with irrational fears, wiggly teeth, and fears of their Frozen Poster of Elsa coming to life off the wall sound like fun to you? <br />
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If you've answered to answered "YES" to any of these questions, you should A) Have Children Immediately, B) Come over and help parent my children, or C) Join a traveling circus<br />
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This week was Lauren's first full week of Kindergarten. It all started out just great. She went off the first day... a little nervous about a new school with new teachers and friends, but all in all pretty excited. As the week wore on, she realized it was a longer day then she was used to at preschool and started to miss everyone at home. Then it happened....her worst fear realized - her tooth came loose at school - and it sent her into a tailspin. She decided she hated Kindergarten and would not be returning. When we explained to her that she indeed would have to go back to school the next day, she came down with a stomach ache, fake cough and began hyperventilating. We figured after a good night sleep, she'd snap out of it and be ok the next day. After a rough morning, we got her off to school, only to get several calls from the school nurse letting us know that she'd been down in her office crying to come home. She wasn't sick, the nurse assured me - just missing her mom. When Lauren realized she wasn't being sent home unless she was actually ill, she told the nurse she was going to throw up. The nurse thought it would be helpful if Lauren talked to me on the phone. I assured her I'd be there to pick her up at the end of the day and that we'd get ice cream. At this point, my heart was breaking to hear my little girl so upset. I felt awful and wished I could do something to alleviate her little fears. When I picked her up that day, she broke into sobbing tears and cried on my shoulder all night, begging me not to send her back to school. We tried all night to soothe her and reassure her. I started to feel like an awful mom for sending her off to school and causing her all this anxiety, but Brian and I knew we had to stay strong and not let her see us get upset. <br />
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The next morning, she adamantly refused to go. I put her in the car as she sobbed and hyperventilated and drove her to school. She wouldn't go inside. She put her backpack down and shook her head. Finally a teacher had to come out and literally pick her up and bring her in kicking and screaming, as Lauren grasped on to my shirt screaming "Don't make me go, Mommy!!!" I got back to my car and just lost it. I sobbed all morning. What had I done? I know she has to go to school and that lots of kids have trouble these first few days...missing their parents and feeling homesick. But I just handed over my child to someone who is a stranger to her, and let them take her from me where she feels safe and secure and bring her into a room full of people she doesn't know. I felt like I had completely betrayed her trust. I called my mom and she told me how hard it was for her to leave me when I went to kindergarten. Apparently I cried and refused to go in to school, too. I wrapped myself around the flagpole and the principal literally had to peel me off of it and drag me into the classroom, while he told my mother to just go and that her staying would only make things worse. I was the class crier that year. I cried for my mommy daily...and I was only in half day kindergarten!!! Anyway, my mom told me how awful she felt, but that I got over it. By full day 1st grade I was just fine. No long term damage done to my little psyche. My mom also told me she had been the class crier when she was little, too. That she cried for her mom all day. Apparently we come from a long line of criers. Now I had a little crier of my own. It doesn't make it any easier, though - seeing my child so distraught, but at least I felt a little better about sending her to school. <br />
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It's just a catch 22. I mean - what are the options here? She's 5 years old and it's time for school. It's not like we're sending her to work 14 hours a day in coal mine or something. In the big picture here, she's going to kindergarten. She colors and has music and art and rest time. REST TIME! They get to nap with their little blankets after lunch. Her teacher is beyond sweet. She's a mom of 2 babies and totally understands. She's sweet and nurturing and I couldn't ask for a kinder teacher. The school itself is beautiful. It's cute and it situated in a nice little residential neighborhood. It's less than a half mile away, too...so I can be there in like a minute. So as guilty as I feel when I'm prying her off my leg in the mornings, I have to keep it all in perspective. Or at least try. But really...when you're a parent - there's always that question in the back of your mind...AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING??<br />
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And inevitably, regardless of what decisions we make as parents and what we do in the best interest of our children - 20 years from now these kids will be sitting on a couch in a therapist office telling them how much we screwed up as parents. It's the American way. So if you're a new or soon to be parent, I'd like to take this opportunity to say, WELCOME TO PARENTHOOD! Grab a glass of wine and get ready to feel guilty! :)<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-21349975177024117102014-08-26T12:12:00.001-04:002014-08-26T12:14:17.543-04:00Gone To The DogsSummer is coming to an end, and it's a big ol' circus sideshow over here. I have a lovable but belligerent 200 pound mastiff who refuses to have her nails trimmed.<br>
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When I'm feeling brave, I'll sometimes lock myself in the bathroom with her and back her into a corner in an attempt to clip the talons, but it's a lengthy process with her pulling her paw away the second I get the clipper around her nail. Usually - if I'm lucky, I'll get 2 or 3 nails partially clipped before all hell breaks loose. I have to get on top of her -on her back - and when she decides she's had enough, she stands up and bucks me off of her like one of those bull rides you see at a country bar. I then run the risk of being trampeled so I have to get myself to high ground pretty quickly, so I jump on the side of the bathtub and hang on to the shower curtain rod to steady myself. By this point Brynn's tail in wagging wildly as she tries to seek shelter in the 6 inch space behind the toilet. By this time, the commotion has drawn the kids to the bathroom and they pound on the door and try to open it. I have no choice but to scream the emergency "safe word" to Brian to come and save the day - which is "Tarragon Chicken". <br>
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So I finally decided to consult a professional groomer. I should've known when I called and asked if their doggie salon had experience with "large breed dogs" and they assured me yes, they've groomed plenty of dogs over 75 pounds, that maybe they werent equipped to handle Brynn. When I informed them that she was actually close to 200 pounds, there was a pregnant pause followed by what I'm pretty sure was the phone dropping, and then a tentative "can you bring her in tomorrow at noon?" So I made the appointment and the next day collected Brynn and we headed to the groomer. The owner, who I have to imagine has seen her share of dogs of all shapes and sizes, looked truly shocked when she laid eyes on Brynn. I assured her that Brynn was friendly and that she'd already eaten lunch, so she needn't worry. I'm pretty sure she wasn't amused. Neither was Brynn. So at 12:01 we left Brynn at the groomer who told me she'd call me in about an hour when Brynn was done. At 12:03 my phone rang, and it was a shaky voiced groomer who said "this isn't going to work". Luckily I had just pulled out of the parking lot, so was able to turn around and get back there pronto. As I pulled in, I played out the scene in my mind of what may have happened in that 120 seconds I was gone. I envisioned tables overturned, grooming sheers flying through the air, people running in every direction seeking cover as they scream "Run for your liiiiiiiiife!!!" Like a scene from Godzilla. I wondered if the salon had insurance. Luckily it wasn't that bad....just a few people hiding under tables as Brynn snacked on what I believe was a yorkie. Just kidding. Brynn stood at the door waiting for me with a look on her face that said "Don't try this again." The groomer was apologetic, and I think she'd just truly never seen anything like Brynn before and was intimidated by her bigness. My poor girl...so sweet and misunderstood. And powerful and belligerent. I couldn't love her any more if she was a human child, though. She's my baby and she's been such a loyal, awesome family pup. So what if she turned that grooming salon upside down...</div>
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Anyway, if you're a dog person who thinks you may be able to tame the beast long enough to clip her nails, please contact me. If you're name is Cesar Milan, even better. Whisper to my dog....do whatever it is you need to do to get this dog's nails clipped before they get so long that I have to register them as lethal weapons. </div>
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On the topic of the mini zoo - we recently welcomed 2 new beta fish to the family - Dory and Heart.</div>
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Last week, Heart (Lauren's fish) <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">went off to the big fishbowl in the sky (insert flushing toilet noise here). Brian & I had 2 options at that point... 1) Tell Lauren and let the passing of her little fish serve as some sort of life lesson that sometimes we have no control and things like this happen....circle of life and all that. Or B) Distract Lauren from the floating fish in the tank while one of us ran down to Pet Supplies and bought a Heart look alike. Meet Heart 2...</span></div>
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We swapped out Heart 1 for Heart 2 and she was none the wiser :) Mission Emergency Fish Replacement was a success. The things we do to save our little ones from any kind of heartache. </div>
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Last but certainly NOT least, I have a HUGE, gigantic, monumental favor to ask of anyone reading this blog. Ok, so as you know...animals are near and dear to my heart and if I could, I would take in every animal...cat, dog, squirrel, racoon, etc...that was in need of a loving home. I'd then be featured on that show "Hoarders" and my home would be condemned, so I realize there are better options to help :) There are 3 dogs that need our help...I'm asking that you read their story below then click on the link and donate ANY amount of money to help. No amount is too small. Thank you in advance to any kind hearted soul out there that takes the time to help these 3....</div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">To make a very long story short... Rufus, Petey and Reese were all pulled in early 2014 by Ruff Start Rescue NY. Since they were pulled they have passed around between boarding, fosters and adopters. Ruff Start stopped supporting them, along with many other dogs, many months ago.<br><br>A group of volunteers along with 501c3 Stewie to the Rescue have banded together to place these dogs.<br><br>The three left are in training. Rufus and Petey (formerly Ferdinand) are at True Companion in Pennsylvania. Reese has been living with a trainer and will be headed to TC as well in a couple weeks.<br><br>Due to the instability these poor boys have suffered - They need the training and we are networking/posting them for appropriate homes. These are all GREAT guys that need experienced owners, and we are working hard to find them just that.<br><br>Please help us by supporting their training fund. We will owe more than $1500 in September. - See more at: </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://www.youcaring.com/pet-expenses/ruff-start-rescue-ny-abandoned-dogs/223089#sthash.dusgwow8.dpuf<span id="goog_296915880"></span><span id="goog_296915881"></span><a href="http://www.youcaring.com/pet-expenses/ruff-start-rescue-ny-abandoned-dogs/223089" target="_blank">http://www.youcaring.com/pet-expenses/ruff-start-rescue-ny-abandoned-dogs/223089</a></span><br>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-68805227325692745232014-08-08T12:33:00.000-04:002014-08-08T12:33:00.060-04:0030 Is The New 29It's August ...which means 2 things. 1) It's time to start back to school shopping for the kids and B) I'm finally turning 30. After many years of turning 29, I was set to turn 29 again this year, but then the kids learned to count and at one point during one of our Q & A sessions when the kids asked me how old I'll be on on my birthday, they figured out something wasn't adding up. They called me on it a few weeks ago. "No Mommy, you're turning 30, silly! 30 comes after 29!" Oh yes, silly mommy...how could I have lost track like that?? You got me kids....I'm turning 30. The big 3-0!! Can't fool those two, can I?<br />
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Turning 30 isn't the only big change happening around here. The kids will both be starting school - Lauren will be going to Kindergarten and Ben will be going to preschool. Lauren will be going to FULL DAY Kindergarten and I'm finding it hard to wrap my head around that. She went to preschool last year - 3 hours a day, 3 days per week (the same program Ben will be doing this year). It's quite a leap to go from that to full day school 5 days a week. My little girl is growing up and starting a new chapter in her life. I mean, she's very excited about it all - we all are. But to me, who has been home with her since she was a baby - It feels like she's heading off to fashion design school in New York City and moving into an art loft with a like-minded roommate named Pierre. Next thing I know, she'll want to do a year abroad in Paris where she'll wear colorful berets and eat croissants and decide to change the spelling of her name to Lauryn. Damn you, Pierre...damn you! I knew that kid was a bad influence with his french accent and skinny jeans. Ok, Ok...I see I've gotten a little carried away. Clearly Mommy needs some extra Xanax. <br />
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Anyway, Lauren starts school at the end of August & Ben will be starting the second week of September. I will also be starting my 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training - YAY!! It's something I've wanted to do a for a while and the timing works out great. I'm finding that as my children grow and enter new chapters of their lives, those are the times I tend to reinvent myself. I almost don't realize it's happening, but that seems to have been a consistent pattern over the years. Sometimes in small ways, even...but it's definitely been a theme for me. <br />
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In other news, <a href="http://www.tiarastantrumsandmartinis.com/2014/07/summer-colds-and-things-that-go-bump-in.html" target="_blank">in my last blog</a> I told you that my house may be haunted. Well no more strange occurrences have happened, and remember how I told you I lost my car keys somewhere between my car in the driveway and my house? Well like a week later my neighbor, Tracy, who lives across the street from me sent me a text asking me if the keys I lost were Nissan keys. Turns out they were in her front yard. Obviously....why hadn't I looked there? (I jest). There's just no reasonable explanation as to how my keys ended up in her front yard. Let's say I dropped them in my driveway and I didn't realize...they were far too heavy for wind to have blown them over there. Then I wonder if maybe someone....maybe the mailman or someone walking by, saw them in my driveway. But why would they take the keys out of my driveway only to throw them across the street into my neighbors front yard? I don't know...it's strange for sure, but the only logical explanation here is that there's some kind of a portal...from the key holder in my kitchen that leads straight to Tracy's front yard. Kind of like in the movie "<a href="http://astore.amazon.com/tiatanmar-20/detail/B001O37WTY" target="_blank">Being John Malkovich</a>" where the portal behind the file cabinet leads into his mind and then after 15 minutes spits the person out onto the side of the New Jersey Turnpike. So next time I'm missing my Chapstick or something, the first place I'll check is Tracy's front yard. <br />
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So that's a relief - no haunting. Just a portal. <br />
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Lastly, I've gone Gluten Free again. I always just feel better when I'm not eating gluten. Plus, now there's tons of awesome gluten free products on the market now that they didn't have a few years ago when I first decided to ditch the gluten. It's really a lot easier now, and I'm noticing a lot more products are actually labeled gluten free so that you don't have to look up the 20 different ingredients a product contains to figure out if any of them is code for GLUTEN. Here's my latest gluten free find (thanks to a tip from an awesome Naturopath I see) and it totally rocks. It's called <a href="http://astore.amazon.com/tiatanmar-20/detail/B00D4NQLLC" target="_blank">Chebe Pizza Crust </a>Mix and it makes a kick a$$ pizza crust that you'd never know was gluten free. This entire pizza is gluten free and it was yummy and didn't make me feel like I was missing out on anything. <br />
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And on that note, I'm off to search Tracy's front yard for my sanity...it's been missing for quite some time now. <br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-2690169864638640102014-07-25T12:17:00.005-04:002014-07-25T12:32:22.263-04:00Summer Colds and Things That Go Bump in the NightI'm on week 2 of the summer cold from hell. This cold really knocked me on my butt. I haven't been sick in a while, but for some reason this one got me. I blame the kid's summer camp for this. Lauren was congested for a day or 2, then Ben - then I got steamrolled. It's like a little slice of January right here in July! (We all know how much I love January). I finally gave in and went to the Dr....I had an awful sinus infection (back of hand draped dramatically on forehead) and I got some fun antibiotics. And by "fun" I mean, doubled over with stomach pains because Augmentin really does a number on the tummy. It's all very dramatic. <br />
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I tend to get a little....fussy....when I'm sick. Normally, I'd have called my mother to whine and complain. She's a great mom like that - she's like a bowl of chicken soup right over the phone. She's also a nurse, so she can field questions like "My sinuses really hurt -Do I have flesh eating bacteria of the nose?" or "I think I have brain eating ameoba from swimming in brackish water.." After gently reminding me we don't actually have brackish water around here and that she's pretty sure it's just a common cold, she then entertains days of phone calls where I just whine. This time, however, she had gone on a trip to Ireland, so my mommy was out of pocket. Poor Brian. He was also sick, though...so I had to take it easy on him. I briefly contemplated calling my dad, but when it comes to things like this - I don't think he quite gets what I'm looking for. He likes to solve the problem - not mull it over 17 different ways and then do it again the next day. I imagined the conversation would go something like this...<br />
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"Hi Dad, I'm sick and I think I'm going to die.."<br />
"Sorry to hear that honey, you should probably get things in order and make a will."<br />
"But Dad, I feel awful and want to complain"<br />
"Honey, you'll feel fine tomorrow. Take a Tylenol."<br />
"But Dad..."<br />
"Melissa?? KASHHHHHH - I think we have a bad connection...CHHHHHASSSSHHHH...Can't hear you....breaking up..."<br />
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I was briefly mad at my father, then realized we didn't actually HAVE that conversation. Sorry, Dad.<br />
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As all you mommy's out there know - when mommy gets sick, we can't take a "sick day". We still have to care for our babies and make them meals and field 247 questions an hour, just like any other day. When I get sick, the babies descend upon me to "care for" me. They take my temperature with thier little plastic thermometer and sit on top on me as I lay lifeless on the couch with a pillow over my head in an effort to make the pounding headache stop. Inevitably, they get into a fight - Lauren looked at Ben too long or Ben told Lauren her fingers are going to fall off and won't "take it back" and they go back & forth until I yell out from underneath my pillow that my head hurts and mommy needs to get better, so please stop the fighting. This only serves to spark a barrage of questions from them...like, "Where does a headache come from? Did I bang my head? Why do I put my head under a pillow? Will that make me better? Should they do that when they're sick?" If I answer, it only prompts more questions. If I don't, they'll continue to ask the same questions until they have satisfactory answers. It's so relaxing! :)<br />
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In other news- our house may be haunted. Not like "chairs piled into a pyramid in the middle of the kitchen" haunted. More a subtle haunted. Radios turning on by themselves randomly, doors opening in the middle of the night, Brynn acting REALLY strange, and now my keys are missing. It all started a few weeks ago when Brian & I decided we'd move our bedroom into Lauren's room since she's been sleeping in Ben's room and basically just uses her room as a dressing room :) Her room and closet is bigger than ours, so we figured we'd take her room - and move her room into our old room. So of course we have to repaint the rooms and move dressers, etc - but in the meantime, we've moved our bed into Lauren's old room. I don't know if we just upset the feng shui in the house or what - but since then all these strange little things have been happeneing. I was making dinner one night and an old radio we have in the corner of the kitchen came on. It's been there for years and never done that before, so I thought it was odd but didn't dwell. A few nights later I was in the kitchen and it happened again. A few days later I was in the kids playroom and the TV was on - and just shut off by itself. Ok...I mean, not too big of a deal - but we've lived here for 4 years and never had anything strange happen before. Then the other night I pulled in the driveway after going out to get dinner. I got out of the car and came into the house - keys in hand. We have a key rack we always hang our keys on on the way in. I do it automatically now. Keys are always there. I swore I did that the other night, but in the morning the keys were gone. Brian & I tore the house apart thinking maybe I set them down somewhere by mistake - but they're nowhere to be found. I even dumped out the trash and went through it to make sure I didn't accidentally throw them away. We checked the car, of course to see if I left them in there...they HAVE to be somewhere in the car or in the house. They are literally nowehere - fallen into a vortex. Both Brian & I swear I came in and put those keys on the rack like always. Yesterday as we searched the house, Brynn (my mastiff) wouldn't leave my side. She was never more than 2 inches away from me. It was strange. Finally, last night we were asleep and we hear Brynn barrel assing up the stairs - again something she never does in the middle of the night. It startled both of us out of a sleep - she was waiting at our door for us to let her in. She was spooked. Brian checked the house and found nothing. The dog then paced around the bedroom and wouldn't settle down. Finally, Brian decided to go down on the couch to try and salvage a few more hours of sleep before his alarm went off. While he was down there the hall closet opened by itself. Middle of the night. No explanation. Hmmm. Maybe we're all just crazy...that's a real possibility, too. But it is strange. Do I believe in ghosts? I don't know - I'll save that one for the next blog. Meanwhile, we're thinking about moving back into our old room. <br />
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Stay healthy and hold onto your keys! :)<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-54249544503145298562014-07-02T11:33:00.002-04:002014-07-02T11:35:04.684-04:00Now THAT'S Hot....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Did you know that if your grill catches on fire you can use baking soda to put it out? Yep. I had the unfortunate experience of looking out the window to see flames shooting out of the grill (note: the chicken that was cooking on it was not edible after that point). It's a gas grill, which made it a bit nerve racking, so I did what any brave woman with a grill on fire would do. I remembered an article I read on the uses of baking soda (dousing grease fires being one of them), then I screamed for Brian and armed him with a box of baking soda while the kids & I ran and hid behind the couch and watched from the window. In the end all was fine - fire was out - nobody exploded. Turns out you actually have to clean the grease that collects at the bottom of the grill before using it, otherwise it can catch on fire. Oops. I didn't know that. I thought the grill was pretty low maintenance. But it's not.....aaaaand I set the grill on fire. <br />
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On a lighter note...We've been having tons of fun out in the sun now that summer is here! In the last week, we managed to hit the splash pad, our favorite beach, and a friend's pool for a swim. So we're soaking up all the summer we can while we can. These are the days that make all those awful, cold January days worth it. The weather has been just perfect and our days filled with summery fun. This is not to say that each day is filled with rainbows and roses. No...in fact, at the end of each of these lovely outings, there's always some kind of fiasco that reminds me that I have 2 preschoolers with me. Like for example, when Ben fell in the public toilet as we were leaving the beach...EWWWWWW!!! He leaned over the toilet to flush it and slipped. And fell in. I just....the germ level was off the charts. It's almost as bad as the time he & Lauren put their tongues on the counter of the pharmacy during flu season. Maybe this is worse...I don't know - I can't think straight with all the Lysol fumes permeating the air. Anyway, more preschooler drama ensued on Friday when Ben "graduated" from his little sports camp and was being handed his merit award and Lauren decided at that exact moment that she was going to throw up, only to have me rush her to the bathroom where she decided she was fine. Mmmmm Hmmmm. I'm pretty sure she gets her dramatic flair from Brian..<br />
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In other news, my iPhone of 2 years has finally bought the farm. It's truly amazing that the phone lasted as long as it did...what with 2 kids playing games on it and many close calls with a body of water. Honestly, I really wasn't looking forward to getting a new phone. I get really attached to my electronics (ya I know - I'm a weirdo..) But think about it...this phone has been with me, by my side, under my pillow at night, for 2 years! We've laughed together, cried together. I've received great news and tragic news on that phone. I've clutched it in my clammy hands while laying on the bathroom floor with the horrid stomach flu while I updated my facebook status to "I think I'm gonna die.." I've googled everything from "chicken marsala recipes" to "how to remove a crayon from my toddler's nose" to "hot pics of Mark Conseulos". That phone and I have been on vacation together, and played countless games of Candy Crush together. Oh and don't even get me started on Siri! <br />
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Last week when the phone went completely haywire and refused to do anything but email, I knew it was time for a new one. So I headed down to AT& T to figure out what to get. As I sat there waiting for a salesperson to help me, I took a little walk down memory lane in my head...my iPhone & I skipping through a field of flowers saying our goodbyes. I was feeling pretty bad when suddenly I was approached by <strike>this gorgeous man - a cross between Channing Tatum and a young Daniel Craig. Perfectly chiseled features and eyes that could melt the heart of any woman between the ages of 17 and 92. Under his shirt, rippling muscles and a body made for running around on a beach with tight swim trunks....saving "drowning" women who threw themselves into the riptide just to be saved by this beautiful Greek God sent from the Heavens for the viewing pleasure of women the world over </strike>a very nice salesperson who was extremely helpful in helping me to chose a new phone :) For some reason, I was feeling much better about my new phone as a I left the store. On a completely unrelated side note: If you are a woman and live within 100 miles of Manchester, CT - you should immediately take a hammer to your current cell phone, and then head into the Manchester AT&T for a new one. You'll thank me later. <br />
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As I write this, Lauren & Ben are at their little morning camp session I signed them up for. I have to say it's pretty strange dropping them both off and actually having a few hours to myself - GASP! It's been nice getting errands done sans kiddos...and SO much faster, too! Yesterday I actually came home, put my iPod on with some really cool jazz music, and cleaned the house top to bottom (well, mostly) - and not even ONCE was I interrupted to break up a fight over who could play with a 25 yr old Strawberry Shortcake phone (that was mine as a kid) that no longer works and that nobody has looked at in 2 years except when 1 of the kids starts to play with it and suddenly it becomes this hot commodity...<br />
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I actually have an hour to kill before I have to pick up the kids...hmmm...what to do. You know what? I think I need another car charger for my new cell phone. AT&T - here I come :)<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-27346253765670607992014-06-11T12:49:00.003-04:002014-06-11T12:49:48.279-04:00The Tooth Fairy Flies SoloAs many of you know, Brian recently took a new job, as his last job required too much travel and at this new company, he wouldn't have to travel at all. So he started last month, and was informed last week that he'd need to do some traveling. Naturally. Although promised this wouldn't be the norm...it just so happens this project he walked into would require someone to be onsite to get it back on track. And here's the kicker....it's in...Batesville, Indiana. Where?? Batesville. Population 6,500. It's claim to fame is that it's home to the "Batesville Casket Company". Manufacturer of caskets. There's a Steak N Shake there....as well as a CVS - so you know it's metropolitan. International jet setters who visit this destination have to actually fly into Cincinnati - the closest airport, rent a car and then drive and hour and a half to Batesville. Reminiscent of the movie "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles". <br />
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Needless to say, I'm on day 6 of parenting solo and I've gotta tell you...I'm tired and just a wee bit overwhelmed. It's been 24/7 - I mean, not that it isn't always, but it seems like I can't even manage to get an hour to myself at night to watch some trashy reality tv. As soon as I get them all settled in for bed, someone needs water, or snuggles, or is afraid of the dark (this is a new thing) even though the hall light is on allll night. Or someone stubbed their toe and needs a Sponge Bob band-aid, or they lay in their beds screaming "potty talk" back and forth to each other. Then they finally get to sleep and someone (usually Ben) wakes up and I can hear the pitter patter of his little feet down the hallway before he comes in and jumps in bed with me and the rest of my night consists of feet and arms flailing about in the bed while I attempt to carve out 2 square feet of space for me to sleep until the dog decides she wants in on the 3am cuddle fest and jumps in and sprawls out on my feet rendering them trapped under the 200 pound mastiff. Yes, I'm tired. Mommy needs a break. <br />
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On Friday night, it actually looked like we were on track for an early bedtime. Baths had been taken, babies were tuckered out from a busy day...and by 7:45 they were on their way to dreamland. Ahhh, yes...I settled in on the couch with the mastiff and tuned in to some Real Housewives Of Orange County drama...glass of wine in one hand, Brynn's big head on my shoulder as we watched the drama unfold. And then it happened. I heard the pitter patter of little feet heading down the stairs....this time it was Lauren....and she said the words that no mother is ever prepared for - "My tooth is loose!" And then she burst into hysterical tears and the rest of the night consisted of me consoling her trying to reassure her this was an exciting time, and that the tooth fairy would be coming soon. As I secretly freaked out - having no idea this was going to happen so soon - I called Brian and Grandma and even Lauren's cousins who are a little older than her to help calm her down and convince her there was nothing to be afraid of. I googled "at what age do teeth start falling out" and was assured we were right on track. So off went The Real Housewives and on went Finding Nemo while we snuggled on the couch until after 11pm until she finally accepted this wasn't the end of the world and fell asleep. <br />
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Saturday night was looking like it may hold some promise...as we had spent the day at a graduation party running around and having fun. The kids were exhausted and Lauren had embraced the loose tooth, so all was good. I had them in bed early and even managed to take 4 bites of food before all hell broke loose. Lauren's tooth had fallen out, which started a new wave of tears and just general chaos. She stood at the top of the stairs - tooth in hand - tears streaming down her little face - as Ben tried to pry to tooth out of her clenched hand to see what it looked like. Lauren cried because her tooth had fallen out, and Ben cried because his tooth hadn't fallen out and he wanted it to. <br />
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***I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the makers of Mondavi Wines for providing Savignon Blanc - aka - "sanity juice". Keep on doing what you're doing...*** <br />
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And in case you're wondering - the tooth fairy came and left $5 for that tooth (and left Ben $1 for being a supportive brother). In the morning, Lauren was very excited but also perplexed because she thought the tooth fairy only brought coins. Lesson learned. Ben on the other hand, was offended that he only got $1 under his pillow and Lauren got $5. Me? I'd just be happy to have a pillow all to myself and if someone wants to slip a bottle of savignon blanc under it while I sleep, I promise not to be offended :)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me & my little pillow thieves :)</td></tr>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-73115559001873813902014-05-26T11:33:00.001-04:002014-05-26T11:33:37.956-04:00Meditating in Cemeteries and Other Hazards of Being A HippieI'm on a journey and I'm not quite sure where I'm going. I mean, I suppose we all are all the time...but lately I'm feeling like I'm at one of those life crossroads and I'm kind of in the middle of a road where there's 20 different directions I could go in and I really have no clue which path to even start down. I'm a little lost and my map isn't making sense (although it could be the smear of peanut butter & jelly covering the North, South, East, West key). These last few years of my life have been completely defined by my role as a mother. And I'll always be a full time mommy to my babies, regardless of how old they are, and I'll be there for them whenever they need me no matter what. But now dynamics are changing and Lauren is getting ready to head of to full day kindergarten and Ben will be starting preschool in the fall...so the role isn't so clearly defined anymore, and I'm kind of left wondering what I should be doing. Although, in the last 8 minutes while I've been writing this blog, I've filled up a plastic shark water gun, put a fake shark tattoo on Ben, Wiped off the fake shark tattoo after a meltdown, and reapplied a new fake shark tattoo once he decided he could handle all the responsibility that comes with sporting "ink". (If you're wondering what's up with all the shark paraphernalia, you can rest assured this has nothing to do with my obsession with the movie "Sharknado"....but instead these are goodies Lauren got in her goodie bag from an "under the sea" birthday party she went to Saturday..)<br />
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Anyway, so here I am, trying to figure it all out. And for the first time in a while, the focus is on me...which is funny and a bit reminiscent of my life before kids. Only thing is..now, everything I do and each decision I make, impacts all of us. If I decide to go back to work - even on a part time basis....tons of questions linger - who will drop off/pick up the kids from school, and take them to Dr's appointments, and what about "sick days" (and they never get sick at the exact same time - as soon as one gets over something, the other comes down with it), and school vacations, and half days, and after school activities? Having been home with them since they were born, all of these things are totally new for me and honestly I wonder how it would work going from mom being there all the time, to suddenly someone else being there to drive them around and nurture them when their sick. At this stage of the game, I don't want to consider what that would be like. It sends a wave of sadness over me to think it wouldn't be me after all this time. <br />
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****DISCLAIMER: In NO way, shape or form am I making ANY comparison whatsoever to stay-at-home moms versus working moms, or suggesting one is right or wrong or ANYTHING in between. This is simply my personal story and random pontifications on the big questions like - what the heck I should do? what's best for my family? what's it all about? Who hacked my Netflix account? Who thought Sharknado was a good idea? Why are we still entertaining all things Kardashian & Seacrest? And are those people with the phone number 867-5309 still getting calls after all these years?******<br />
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Of course, the other side of the coin is that once the kids are both in school - it makes sense for me to find something that both fulfills me while bringing in the extra money, too. At this stage in my life (29 years old) - I feel it's important to not only get a "job", but find something that also means something to me that I am passionate about. ( If animal rescue was a "career", all my problems would be solved ;) So my focus turns to something more spiritual. Although I've been doing yoga for years, I'm finding it especially important now. I've also started meditating. In cemeteries. Ok, I said it - I meditate in cemeteries. Truth be told, I've always loved cemeteries. And between carting the kids around between their activities, when I have a few minutes to myself, it's the one place I can always go and feel at peace and sort of block out the world for a few minutes. I'm new to the whole meditation thing, and although it's the simplest of notions - quieting the mind and focusing on only the breathing - it's proven to be more difficult than I thought. If I can make it 3 minutes without my mind wandering to what to make for dinner or singing a random song in my head ....then I consider it a success. Anywho - yoga/meditation - all things spiritual and crunchy - have become more of a focus and a passion for me during this time when there are a million questions to be answered and no manual on what the right answers are. That's when I realized that the very things that are helping guide me on this journey may be the answer to some of my questions. I need to be a yoga teacher! Yes, I shall hug trees and teach yoga...kidding about the hugging of the trees, of course - there are far to many insects on a tree trunk to really get intimate with it. Teaching yoga will also allow me a more flexible schedule with non traditional hours so that I'll still be able to drive the kids to and from school and apply fake tattoos as needed :) <br />
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I've looked into the200 hour Yoga Teacher Training and it looks like I can start that in September - it's one full weekend a month (Friday night, all day Saturday & all day Sunday) through June, which really works out pretty well considering Ben will only be in preschool 3 days a week - 3 hours per day - so it will be nice to have that one on one time with him while still being able to complete the training. And there you have it. I'm not saying this answers all the great questions in the world of me...but it's a good plan, and at least a step in the direction of one of those paths in the crossroads. I'm hoping there's a wine stand on this path, because I'm already getting thirsty. <br />
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HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!! Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-24791992129053336762014-05-20T10:47:00.003-04:002014-05-20T10:47:46.437-04:00Summer Safety - Secondary DrowningI read an awesome blog called Delighted Momma which shares healthy, PALEO recipes, natural beauty tips, and on occasion, a very personal story. I just read the following blog post this morning, which left me teary eyed but ultimately more aware. With summer fast approaching, certain to be filled with beach trips and visits to the pools, this blog is an absolute MUST READ if you have or are responsible for young children....this could save a life...<br />
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<a href="http://www.delightedmomma.com/2014/05/secondary-drowning-my-recent-experience.html">http://www.delightedmomma.com/2014/05/secondary-drowning-my-recent-experience.html</a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-36934478384821647612014-05-09T11:03:00.001-04:002014-05-09T11:05:01.025-04:00No Soliciting (Unless You're Selling Wine)May is here, thus marking the beginning of "door to door soliciting season". Yes, in this day and age - people still show up at our doors at dinnertime attempting to give us a free estimate on new siding (which we don't have, by the way..), trying to get us to switch cable providers, invite us to various religious events where we should "bring our own snake", sell us a security system, or get us to vote "yes" on question 3. This annoys me to no end. I feel like it's completely ridiculous to expect people to open their doors and have these absurd conversations - it's a total infringement on privacy, and really - who the hell are these people? And so last summer I put up a sign on the front mailbox that read "NO SOLICITING"...and guess what? People still came to my door! Yep, I actually had someone say "But I'm not trying to sell anything, I'm only offering a free estimate.." And of course it totally doesn't apply to the religious crew who is only selling redemption (3 sins forgiven for only $19.95!) Don't get me wrong - I'm in no way bashing any religious organization - I just don't appreciate the door-to-door-conversion thing. <br />
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So I figured I'd start letting Brynn - my 200 lb. English Mastiff - answer the door. She gets really excited when someone comes to the door...so she & I put that to good use. I open the door, attempting to hold Brynn back, and usually do a dramatic trip where I "lose the grip" on her collar so it looks like I have no control over the beast that lives in my home. She looks mammoth at the door, and nobody is expecting to see that greet them at the door. As she snorts and paws uncontrollably at the screen door, I try to get in front of her, only to let her push me back with her family sized head. Standing behind the Mastiff, I lean over her - being tossed about dramatically, I hold on to the door frame to steady myself, and yell over the snorting, "She hasn't eaten lunch yet....I can't open the door - sorry!" At which point, the solicitor has no interest whatsoever in giving me a free estimate on anything. They put their little brochure in my mailbox and scurry off, looking back over their shoulder to make sure the brindle beast hasn't broken out the door to come after them. (Insert evil laugh here). The religious folks back off wide-eyed, sometimes clutching their chests in horror when I yell to the dog "Down, Satan, Down!" Yes, soliciting season is here, and we're looking forward to it :)<br />
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In other news, Ben started soccer last week, and his team shirt color is pink. I must say, this kid can totally pull off the pink. He owns it.<br />
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We're walking across the soccer practice field looking for his team - there were literally hundreds of people coming and going - and some little boy comes running up to Ben and says "Hey Ben!" And Ben says "Hey" with a cool head nod and keeps walking. Brian & I look at each other quizzically as if to say "how does 4 year old Ben know random people??" So I ask Ben how he knew that little boy and nonchalantly he says..."From the gym". Oh of course! I can only assume he means the gym daycare, where I put him the mornings I go. But of course, this is Ben - for all we know he has his own gym membership and is training for a Tough Mudder or Warrior Dash. The kid's like Ferris Bueller...he just has that way about him. He's very charismatic, makes friends quite easily, and is quite the flirt with the women. Expect to see him on TV singing a top a parade float one day when he skips Kindergarten. <br />
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And my sweet baby girl Lauren Allison....I just registered her for Kindergarten for September. No, no no....I don't even know how that's possible!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUqTvPFJM7WF0ytGIL_ZD4XEPgYrqRsXGRtGdPpVk8j90TjZgIggVREQS2x1ADtp0UfkmEv6TLSizP_GWGPk1dB1Wir2eP9RDxZJ8gEqOOmHXNo3swo2cujkuP-vvsfIVM1vSnADqSBGc/s1600/Lauren+Soccer+Sidelines.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUqTvPFJM7WF0ytGIL_ZD4XEPgYrqRsXGRtGdPpVk8j90TjZgIggVREQS2x1ADtp0UfkmEv6TLSizP_GWGPk1dB1Wir2eP9RDxZJ8gEqOOmHXNo3swo2cujkuP-vvsfIVM1vSnADqSBGc/s1600/Lauren+Soccer+Sidelines.jpg" height="320" width="309" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lauren watching Ben's soccer game :)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Soccer Love</td></tr>
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People say it goes so fast...and it really does. Of course, it didn't seem that way when they were both babies. Lauren was only 15 months when Ben was born, and I remember bringing him home from the hospital and Lauren staring at him like "What IS this??" I think she thought we got a new cat at first. She was too young to comprehend the whole sibling thing.<br />
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I remember the day that Brian went back to work and it was just me and the toddling 15 month old and a REALLY hungry Benjamin that needed to eat every 20 minutes. I literally thought<i> "What the hell have we done???"</i> I had 2 babies under 2, and started to wonder if anyone had ever successfully made it through those early days while maintaining sanity? I googled things like "2 under 2 HELP!" and read forums where other mom's had actually done it and survived....and just as soon as I felt like I had a handle on 2 babies....Ben started in with Colic. Unless you've had a baby with Colic...you just can't appreciate the noise that goes along with it. At about 3 weeks old, he started screaming and crying every day at 3pm. He'd scream clear through until 8pm, and there was no consoling him. Brian & I would pass him back and forth and take turns eating and give our ears a break, but there was nothing we could do to calm him down. The pediatrician told us this was very common, and should subside by the time he was 12 weeks old. WHAT????? I was convinced there was no way we'd survive 9 weeks of that. But somehow, we did. By 10 weeks he was only screaming for 3 hours a day, and at 11 weeks it just stopped as abruptly as it came on. But let me tell you, THAT didn't go fast! No...and when people told me it would, I wanted to cry then shove a pie in their face. Of course now...in hindsight it did. And here we are - one going off to Kindergarten and the other running for public office at 4 :)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At the Dr for their check-ups</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMhr-NbQuXHq-XMN0QZZh5vb1_uTlBrqICFydA3USOVDg_EagRlc4iWGp5uJjb-HL1ed3weZKoVQ5qHLzuiJo-p4ng6VajZ8RcTDzNL_uBRdhE11eA0tCbG3C9MSsC5qGVQK6ucUwMAiU/s1600/Lauren+love+the+Dr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMhr-NbQuXHq-XMN0QZZh5vb1_uTlBrqICFydA3USOVDg_EagRlc4iWGp5uJjb-HL1ed3weZKoVQ5qHLzuiJo-p4ng6VajZ8RcTDzNL_uBRdhE11eA0tCbG3C9MSsC5qGVQK6ucUwMAiU/s1600/Lauren+love+the+Dr.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lauren loves going to the Dr. </td></tr>
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Enjoy your weekend! And if you insist on soliciting at my door, please bring wine!Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-59098209753845600352014-04-23T14:17:00.002-04:002014-04-23T14:17:29.335-04:00Needed: Shirtless Pool Boy and a Dog Named LassieBen & I just returned from Sports Authority where we went in to buy him a tennis racket and a soccer ball. Apparently they're closing the Manchester store, and when we walked in all I saw were big bright "Clearance" signs everywhere. I literally got tingly all over and immediately grabbed a carriage knowing this wasn't going to be a quick trip. Let's flash scene to an hour later...me at the register with a cart overflowing with such treasures as a dart board (regulation size), free weights, yoga mats, camping chairs...well you get the idea. The store had been picked over and things were hastily thrown in random aisles, so the prices weren't apparent. What else was I do to but drag everything to the register and have them scan each item in so I could decide if I wanted it?? Yes, I was THAT person. One item at a time...having the poor guy at the register scan each item, then take off the ones that weren't on sale. Meanwhile, there was a line of people behind me getting pretty annoyed. The woman behind me did the "loud sigh". I understood where she was coming from. I mean, I was starting to annoy myself. At one point, I contemplated just buying everything in the carriage to speed up the process but I realized I didn't have anywhere to hide all these items from Brian until I could slowly integrate them into the house without him noticing. <br />
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In any event, we've been busy! Both Lauren & Ben are starting tennis, Ben is starting soccer this weekend, and we just got him going in a preschool class at the rec center. I feel like I'm entering the "Mom Taxi" phase of parenthood and they're only 4 & 5! I'm kind of looking forward to the summer when they have fewer activities and we have the days wide open to take adventures to the beach again. Speaking of summer, I've been interviewing pool boys. No, we don't have a pool, but the process is still fun. If you look anything like Daniel Craig and are interested in skimming our turtle baby pool while shirtless, feel free to contact me. While this isn't a paying position, it's a great resume builder...let's call it an "internship". <br />
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I've also been busy trying to convince Brian that getting another dog is a good idea. I've "Liked" a rescue on Facebook called "<a href="http://www.bigfluffydogs.com/" target="_blank">Big Fluffy Dog Rescue</a>" which features...well...big, fluffy dogs. I love all dogs, but I have a special place in my heart for BIG dogs. So as you can imagine, every dog they post for adoption....I want. Brian's stand on the dog situation is "200 pounds of dog is our capcity"....referring to our English Mastiff, Brynn, and the fact that she is all we need right now. However, I think I've found a loophole. While we say Brynn is roughly 200 pounds, that's only an estimate. After a painstaking several hours weighing each quarter of her on the bathroom scale...I've concluded that she actually only weighs 185....<br />
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Therefore, this leaves me with 15 pounds to work with. So a smaller breed...like a Yorkie...would keep us well under our 200 pound dog limit.. Right?! Although I do worry about Brynn accidentally squishing a dog that tiny, so we'll need a bigger dog that's a little sturdier. I was thinking collie...(think Lassie)...however, this presents a problem since they weigh in at about 50-60 pounds. So clearly we need to get Brynn into shape and trim off a few pounds so we can keep the dog max limit under 200 to afford a Collie. **Maybe get Brynn on Shakeology and get her exercising to "Sweating to the Oldies" with Richard Simmons... <br />
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*** DISCLAIMER: To those readers who took that last statement literally...know I was only joking and would obviously never put a dog on a diet. Everyone knows that the most effective way to lose weight is to start smoking heavily and drinking lots of coffee.***<br />
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Well I hope you all had a Happy Easter! :) We had our fill of hunting Easter Eggs and sugary treats. Lauren informed me over the Easter Weekend that she has some doubts about the authenticity of the Easter Bunny and Jesus. She's 5. Ugh! I wasn't expecting these kinds of questions so soon. Luckily, faith in all of humanity was restored after we saw the "Easter Bunny" waving at cars in front of the local fire station trying to sell Daffodils. Somehow that quelled all of her questions about what Easter is all about. Next thing you know, she'll be wondering how many years in a row Mommy can turn 29.....<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-86173976339784412542014-03-20T17:00:00.000-04:002014-03-20T17:00:09.011-04:00Merry "Spring"!Ok, so here's where I'm at: I have 2 sick kids who have had a fever since Sunday. It's now Thursday. (I just had to check my calendar to make sure that it is indeed, Thursday....this is like the Bermuda Triangle of cabin fever.) They turned the corner yesterday and are feeling much better today, but still not 100%. We've been stuck in the house since Sunday. 4 DAYS, people. I'm losing my mind!! I'm following this Malaysian Jet mystery like it's a soap opera and obsessively tracking my Amazon.com order of the movie Frozen waiting for that bugger to show up because I can't watch one more episode of Doc McStuffin's patching up a talking inanimate object while her little diva sidekick Lambie whines because she doesn't feel special anymore & starts acting out passive aggressively. Maybe Doc's parents need to start paying a little more attention to her stuffed animal medical clinic before Doc has a psychotic break and starts operating on neighborhood kids. <br />
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To add a kicker to the feeling that I'm in the movie Groundhog Day and reliving the same day over and over...today is the first day of "Spring". I use the term loosely since it feels the same as any other January day. Ok,ok -that's a bit dramatic....maybe more like early February. "Spring"....pffffffft! If by "Spring" you mean dead grass, baron wilted trees that may or may not ever bloom EVER again, and temps in the 30's...then yes, it's Spring. Indeed, "Spring has Sprung". Put on your winter coats & earmuffs....Spring is here. I've NEVER - in my 29 years on this earth - EVER seen anything like this never ending winter!!! <br />
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In an effort to shake things up, I've just filled out my college basketball bracket for March Madness. I have no idea whatsoever what I'm doing, nor do I have any clue who any of these teams are, but I needed a distraction. I picked the teams based on random things like...which place would I like to visit more than the other, or if I know someone who knows someone who went to one of the schools. When in doubt, I just picked in alphabetical order. Very scientific. Who knows, I may even start watching the actual games. When's kickoff??<br />
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Next I may sign up at the University of Phoenix Online and get a doctorate degree in Anthropology or Cardiology. One of the "ology's" for sure. Ferretology? I definitely don't need one in meteorology...no, no need for weatherman degree when I can already predict it will be Winter forever. And on that note...I'm off to grease up the old snowboard in anticipation for the next snowfall. Happy "Spring"!!! Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-58010547925701756392014-03-16T14:31:00.000-04:002014-03-16T14:31:02.498-04:00What The ---- (Insert your favorite 4 letter word here)??**DISCLAIMER: I'm sorry for all the swear words in this blog, Mom & Dad. But I can assure you, they're all totally necessary. Plus, it's a full moon. ***<br />
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It's the middle of March and Spring has forgotten to come. One day last week everyone got all excited when it hit 64 degrees and we all ditched our winter coats for short sleeves & fruity drinks with little unbrellas in them and headed to the park or beach, only to have our little hopes dashed the following day when the mercury plummeted down to a frigid 15 degrees. Wind chills were in the single digits that day, and there was talk of a possible snowstorm on the horizon. What the....????<br />
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Meanwhile, this being couped up indoors has really affected all of us - and to top it off, it's a full moon today. I really do think it has an affect on people & animals...as evidenced by the fact that my dog, Brynn, starts acting really strange a few days before a full moon. She gets very unsettled and paces around from window to window, barking randomly. I've been having the most bizarre dreams, too. The other night I dreamt I was walking into church on Christmas Eve, and the church was decorated really pretty and everyone was all dressed up and singing, and I'm a half hour late coming in and I have on pajamas. So I go in and try to sit way in the back so nobody will notice me but I'm a total mess and slowly people start noticing. As is often the case with such dreams, there's no backstory as to why I'm parading around town on Christmas Eve with my PJ's on and what would posses me to go to church in such attire, but there I was. Suddenly this couple sitting beside me decides in a grand jester to have some sort of impromptu wedding ceremony, so the pastor comes over to perform this ceremony and of course every single person in the church turns their attention to these people beside me and there I am standing there with my Hello Kitty PJ's on, slippers and my hair up in one of those buns on the top of my head like Pebbles from the Flintstones. Yes, full moon fun. (Paging Dr. Freud...)<br />
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Ben (4) has been a bit of a terror these last few days, too. He was
acting up so badly at the grocery store that I actually told him that
someone in the produce dept had called the police and if they came and
saw Ben misbehaving that they'd arrest him. He's probably scarred for
life now, but it did the trick. Every once in a while I'd throw out there that I thought I saw a police cruiser pull up in front of the store...just to keep him on his toes. He sat in the grocery carriage wide
eyed and quiet for the remainder of the trip.<br />
Mommy - 1, Ben - 0<br />
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You know when you're out in public and you're child isn't listening, and you don't want to cause a scene, so you plaster that fake smile on and tell your child in that forced calm, high pitched voice "Come on, honey...let's go" when you're trying to leave a store or get him to walk away from the toy aisle? And after like the 3rd "Ok Sweetie, we really have to go.." and he totally ignores you, you have to step it up a notch -but still come across to passerby's like your calm and cool and you've got this. So then your voice drops a few octives and the wording gets a little shorter..."Honey, let's GO!!" and you do that a few times, then the smile fades and you drop the niceties and leave out the "honey" part and it's "LETS GO!" And really, the child's hasn't heard anything until that last demand, anyway so all the other polite requests were in vain. I'm going to step up and admit it- all I really want to say is "Hurry the fuck up!!!" "Let's fucking GO!" Admit it, it's what we're all thinking but can never say. It's what makes us a civilized society - those smiles and polite high pitched requests. Keeping the F words out of the grocery stores and libraries. But we all know what the other parent is thinking...it's like parent code...when you see the mom in the minivan parked next to you in the mall parking lot trying to get her kids to get in a put their seatbelts on...you give her that little knowing smirk. Because one of these times...someone, somewhere is going to get really frustrated and slip up, and scream at their kids in the preschool pick up parking lot...to get the fuck in the car. And most likely...it will be during a full moon...<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-59658253966189929622014-02-24T15:04:00.002-05:002014-02-24T15:06:43.342-05:00Too Much of a Good ThingI just returned from a trip to the grocery store where I heard the song <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IGNWNEE/ref=nosim?tag=tiatanmar-20&linkCode=sb1&camp=212353&creative=380549" target="_blank">"All I need"</a> by Jack Wagner. Remember him??<a href="http://general-hospital.wikia.com/wiki/Frisco_Jones_%28Jack_Wagner%29" target="_blank"> Frisco from General Hospital</a> back in the 80's? I was totally in love with him...what red blooded woman between 14 and 70 who watched General Hospital wasn't? He may have even been my first crush. Oh and his music...I literally knew every song he sang word for word. So as you can imagine, as I was perusing the dairy aisle of Big Y and heard "All I Need"....well, I got really excited...and what started out as a low grade hum culminated in a full fledged sing-a-long by the time I got to the frozen pizza aisle. I literally couldn't stop myself. In my defense there were very few people actually in the store on a Monday morning, but I do have to wonder if they have security camera's in the aisles that may have caught my impromptu karaoke session on tape. Even if so, I wouldn't take it back! When I grabbed that cucumber and used it as a makeshift microphone, it brought me back to the days when me and my BFF Bridget would grab a hairbrush (or whatever else was in reach) and belt out our favorite songs. I'm totally liberated today.<br />
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Anywho, while shopping, I was doing my rounds in the produce department (who was unfortunately NOT lucky enough to be a part of my Monday morning entertainment circuit) & I went to grab my "stand by" fruits & veggies...one of which includes kale that I regularly put into my green smoothies. I remembered an article that I'd recently read about the <a href="http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2014/01/the-dark-side-of-kale-and-how-to-eat-around-it?utm_content=socialflow&utm_campaign=nprfacebook&utm_source=npr&utm_medium=facebook" target="_blank">CONS OF KALE</a>! Yes, you read that right. There's actually such thing as eating too much kale which can result in thyroid issues when overdone. What the hell kind of a world are we living in when you have to watch your kale intake??? It makes me question all of humanity. Now I have no idea how much weight this article really carries and exactly how much kale is too much...but it did make me think that there can be "too much of a good thing". I mean, I suppose it's like everything - moderation/balance/everything has it's place. That's what I aim for in life. A Yin/Yang sorta thing. So every now and again, I'll eat an entire box of Macaroni & Cheese for breakfast to even things out. In fact, I did that yesterday. And I didn't feel bad. And I was liberated. Totally liberated. <br />
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And now onto something totally NOT liberating....Winter.<br />
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That's all there really is to say about that. <br />
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Finally, as winter colds & germs continue to run rampant, my little Benjamin has been fighting a random high fever. Although he's fine now, there were a few days where his fever would spike up to 103 degrees...no other symptoms. It would typically happen at night and he'd wake up fussing and hot. I decided it would be best to sleep in his bed with him so I could keep an eye on him and be there in case he needed me. Ok, so here's the scene. A twin bed...Me, Ben...and once Lauren caught wind of the fact that I was sleeping in Ben's room...she showed up with her pillow and blanket and got in bed too. 2 of my cats also enjoy sleeping on top of me- so they followed me in and jumped in bed,too. They kind of drape themselves over me and purr...which is really sweet and normally a welcome comfort....but in the context of the already crowded bed, it made for quite the interesting night's sleep. I think the most insulting part of the whole thing was waking up in the morning all curled up and twisted to accomodate the 4 other beings in the twin bed and feeling something uncomfortable underneath me. When I got out of bed I found I'd been sleeping on top of a pink seahorse bath toy and a matchbox car...<br />
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And on that note...to quote Jack Wagner..."All I Need...is just a little more <strike>time</strike> wine.." Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044100344734605622.post-50842928747094543232014-02-05T11:07:00.001-05:002014-02-05T11:07:18.481-05:00A Groundhog Day to ForgetIt's February! Which means it's no longer January! Which means that with each passing winter month, it's less likely that come spring, someone will find a 500 page manuscript laying around in my living room, filled with just one line typed repeatedly over and over ...'All work and no play makes Melissa a dull girl' So that's good news! <br />
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In other news, Punxsutawney Phil has emerged from his little rodent hole bearing news that there will be another 6 weeks of winter instead of just 4. I mean, I guess it's only 2 extra weeks of winter...but still, this is just not what people want to hear. I mean - can't he just make the 4 week prediction and give all of humanity some hope that Spring is just around the corner?? True or not, it would do our fragile, frozen, psyche's some good to have hope for an early Spring. I mean, as much as I enjoy a good snowstorm and pretty fresh fallen snow...it would be nice to know that green grass and blooming flowers aren't too far off. However, as an animal lover, I can appreciate that Phil is only doing his job, and find his cute little groundhog face just too sweet to be mad at. <br />
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The riveting fun of Groundhog Day aside, we also celebrate my son Benjamin's birthday on February 15th. He will be turning 4!!! FOUR YEARS OLD! He's my "baby"!!! It's absolutely insane how fast time goes by. I want to hit "pause" and just enjoy both my kids right now. Lauren just turned 5 in November and now Benjamin will be 4. It makes me realize I need to enjoy every single moment. Being a parent has given me a new appreciation of time and making the most of each moment....even the "not so fun" ones when things get hectic and one of them doesn't want to bathe and the other refuses to eat vegetables. Or when Ben pees in his sneaker instead of the potty, and Lauren insists she "needs her own iPad so she can play Angry Birds and Barbie Games" (her words exactly). Or when I take them both to CVS to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy and they both put their mouths on the edge of the pharmacy counter thinking it's funny knowing it will drive their OCD momma absolutely insane - which it did. I'm still having flashbacks of that one....BLECH! In any event, these are the times that one day I will look back at and long for...well not so much the counter licking thing, but the other stuff. <br />
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And finally, in other news...my new obsession is my <a href="http://astore.amazon.com/tiatanmar-20/detail/B007YYNG3S" target="_blank">cast iron skillet</a>. Brian's mom gave it to me a few months ago and I'm OBSESSED with this thing. You can cook everything in it - you can even put it in the oven to bake things. When you sear a steak in it, it creates lots of yummy sauce ("au jus" if you want to be fancy about it). Skillet chicken comes out soooooo tender. And my latest thing is making blackened chicken sandwiches with lemon & garlic mayo. Yumsville! I'll post the recipes for these things shortly :)<br />
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Meanwhile, after all that talk of spring, we are now experiencing a snow storm, with another on the way for this weekend.... and now I must go and work on that manuscript....<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10303105651417168413noreply@blogger.com0