Monday, March 4, 2013


Yesterday morning as Brian & I were sitting at the kitchen table enjoying our Sunday morning coffee and flipping through the paper, Brian actually uttered the following words..."Baby, grab me the scissors!  There are a ton of BOGO Coupons in here this week!"   The words were spoken with such enthusiasm.
"BOGO??!"  I asked.
"Ya - Buy One Get One", Brian retorted - as if to say "OBVIOUSLY".  Oh I know what BOGO is - but the fact that Brian not only knows what it means, but is also enthusiastically clipping such coupons on a Sunday morning to get ready for a bulk shopping trip...well it caused me to pause (and giggle).  And then he started laughing, too.   We actually worked ourselves into a full fledged hysterics as we realized just how "suburban mom & dad" we've become.  If someone had told me 5 years ago that Brian would be excited at the prospect of BOGO tomato sauce, I would NOT have believed it.  After we had a good laugh at ourselves, it prompted me to think about all those things that subtly happen over time - where we morph into - well, our parents.  And so, in the spirit of being able to laugh at ourselves - here are some actual examples of how we've become tragically unhip...mature adults...

1) This year's tax returns are going toward 4 new tires for the Altima, dental work and window treatments. 
2) I know all the words to most songs played in grocery stores & pharmacies.  Not only do I know them, I like them and have actually caught myself singing along as a peruse the aisles.  (Dorky mom alert: Aisle 9)
3) My iPod reads like a 1970 easy listening folk concert.  Barry Manilow, Neil DIamond, Gordon LIghtfoot, Carly get the idea. (Who's Lady Gaga and what the hell is a "monster"??)

4)  Oh wait, I DO know some current music - I know ALL THE WORDS to every Fresh Beat Band song and frequently wake up at 3am with "Loco Legs" stuck in my head.  Yes, I have a secret dream of meeting Kiki and Twist in person at their next concert. 
5)  Going on a shopping spree consists of buying the kids new Spring wardrobes and buying nothing for myself (unless there's some holiday socks on clearance)
6) My current to-do list contains the following items...Get dog updated Rabies Shot, Buy reciprocal Museum Pass, Take Shower.  That's right, I have to schedule a shower in on my daily list. 
7) I recently was involved in conversation with a friend via text regarding a bra sale at Target. 
8)When I read I actually have never even heard of most of these "celebrities".  Also, when I see stories on Robert Pattison the first word I can think is ""twerp".   Gimme stories on some real eye candy - like Daniel Craig.  Real movie stars, people....not kids playing house in Hollywood.  (ya, i just called RPatz a kid). 
9)  I refuse to wear earbuds.  They hurt my ears and fall out constantly.  So I wear my old school headphones.   Hello 1980.  I get some strange looks at the gym.  

All hope isn't completely lost, though.  After reading through the above list, I was compelled to put together a counter "Cool Mom" list...
Here's goes..

1)  I recently watched "Magic Mike" with the volume down- a nice bottle of vino on hand. Great movie - awesome plot ;)
2)  Recently, Brian & I actually make steak & eggs at midnite after a few cocktails. 
3)  Minivan hold outs!  Yes, they may be practical, however I feel like we're holding on to just a little bit of "cool" by holding out. However, I should add that we did recently drive through a car dealership where we peaked in the windows of a Honda Odyssey and Brian & I silently acknowledged to one another that it really did offer a fantastic amount of space.
4)  I'm definitely considering another tattoo

5)  No matter how much I'm addicted to reality TV, I still refuse to watch the show "Shahs of Sunset"
6)  On occasion, there's a hot mailman that delivers our mail.  He must be a fill in for when the regular one is on vacation.  Anyway, I make a concerted effort to let my female neighbors know when he's on :)   (Wysteria Lane??) 
7)  As soon as the nicer weather comes along - Brian & I will sit by our backyard firepit most evenings after we put the kids to bed. Mid week firepit action?  Yes please.
8)  Ok, I know there are more, but right now I can't think of anything.  My kids are throwing goldfish at my head and it's quite distracting.  ;)

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