Last Saturday I had hit my wall. Hit my parental wall. Brian had been away on a trip for work that week, so I'd been with the kids 24/7 for several days. I was tired, achy, and needed a minute - JUST ONE - where someone (aka the "little people" - no, not the midgets) would just stop talking at me, asking questions, fighting, needing something. I felt like a mom servant. (As an educational FYI - the word "Mom" in Swahili directly translates to "Hurry up and bring me my legos, bitch") Every moment of every day revolves around the kids. Oh, don't get me wrong - I love those babies more than anything in this world. I love being a mom, and I would literally do anything for those 2. I miss them when I'm not with them for even an hour, and can't imagine my life without them. HOWEVER - at some point, we all just need a break. A BIG HUGE break. One can only serve to a certain point with a big smile and tons of patience before we reach a point of general insanity.
The day had started at 7am with the kids jumping in bed with me, serving me a dish of play-doh meatballs. I had to pretend to eat them with joyful vigor, when all I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep for 3 days. The general jabbering, talking, singing, questions and requests started in as soon as my feet hit the floor. As I brushed my teeth, they sat on the edge of the tub watching me...wanting to know why my toothpaste was a different color than theirs. I shrugged, as I couldn't speak while brushing my teeth (an awful mother I am - taking time to myself like that!) Ben wasn't satisfied with the shrug, and proceeded to ask me to same question approximately 46 more times until I was done and could finally answer him...."Because it is, honey. That's why." Lauren then made a request for a new toothbrush - a pink Dora toothbrush with BOTH Dora AND Boots on it. Yes, noted. Let me stop the presses and run out and grab that for you at a 24 hour Walgreens, sweetheart.
Once downstairs, as I made their breakfasts, they wanted to know what our plan was for the day. The dog barked at me reminding me that her food bowl wasn't going to fill itself. Lauren suggested we head to the library, while Ben decided he'd rather go to the park. Then they started fighting over which one we were going to do. Um....hello?? Kids? Mommy's on the verge of insanity, and as far as I know, insane people aren't allowed at the park or library!
By 10am, I was just done. Every 1.3 nanoseconds it was..."Mama, I need more tiny cookies.. Mommy...Lauren colored on my art project....Where's my glitter dress Barbie? This play-doh is yukky, mama....I have a boo boo on my toe, I need a band-aid. I need a snack. I wanna play outside...Can we Skype Grandma? I miss auntie Sarah...Can we go on a plane, mama? Can we watch Nemo? Mama, put on Nemo! I'm thirsty. Can you get me a new straw? Ben pushed me. Can we make cookies today? Brynn just ate my goldfish, Mommy!" Is it bad that I didn't bother asking if it was the goldfish crackers or the actual fish in Lauren's room?
Every time my butt hit a comfy chair, there was another request, problem, question. I told them mommy's throat hurt so I couldn't talk for a little while. Which only sparked another round of questions and efforts to "take care of mommy" by feeling my head for a fever and singing me songs to help me get better. I then took to Facebook to post a status about my day...I always enjoy the "likes" and comments. A general sense of camaraderie that makes me feel like we've all been there. I posted something like "Mommy needs a break"...when what I really wanted to say is.."Mommy needs a stiff drink, a bottle of Xanax, and a padded cell.." But you never know how these things will be received.
Brian arrived home at lunchtime to find us playing in the backyard. Me teary eyed behind my sunglasses.. feeling sorry for myself. I'd become quite philosophical by that point. Remembering the carefree days before kids - being able to sit in total quiet and actually hear myself think. Reading a book. A whole entire book - in less than a month and more than 2 sentences at a time. Going to the gym regularly. When I could get up and do errands and not have to run the day's plans by 2 opinionated preschoolers. When I had time for myself and could sleep soundly without always half listening for the kids in case they need me. Occasionally spend money on a total splurge and not have to worry about saving that money in case the kids need something. Always thinking for 3 people instead of just 1. Brian took one look at me and knew I needed some time out of the house. I went to Panera and ate a turkey artichoke panini and read US Magazine. I felt better after drawing devil horns on pics of the Kardashian family. I then went and sat at Barnes & Noble. That's one of my favorite things to do with any free time. I love the smell of coffee and books, and the QUIET. I find a book and sit in a comfy chair and read. Yes, it was exactly what I needed. I came home sane. Well, more sane that I had been. Batteries had been recharged so to speak, and when the kids asked me if I wanted some play-doh meatballs, I smiled and said yes...instead of totally losing my shit :)