Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Summer of Exile

I'm baaaackkkk!!!!
So, it's been a few months... Where have I been?  Well...It's a very complicated case..lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta "what have you's".  Evidently the kids & dogs got together and plotted an uprising a week into the summer vacation.  Apparently, they all decided I wasn't properly amusing them so they decided to go rogue & lock me up in the basement.  The 4 of them then proceeded to play on their iPads for 2 months straight. Because that's what "fun" is these days.  Obviously I'm a terrible mother.. Planning day trips to the beach and rainy day trips to the museum.  How dare I tear them away from minecraft and YouTube?  For endless hours Ben watched someone named "Dan" talk about mine craft in an Australian accent, while Lauren watched mysterious hands unwrap Shopkins with a delicate voice narrating which "season" each Shopkin was from. Confused? Ya me too.  Lauren has since announced that I should set her up with a YouTube account so that she can start making her own YouTube videos.  File under: not gonna happen.

Both kids are now in school full days-Lauren in first grade and Ben in kindergarten.  While they're both enjoying school, Ben has some tough mornings parting with mommy.  You know.. The old "wrap himself around momma's leg while screaming dramatically at the front door of the school" routine.  Yeah.. I'm no stranger to this.. As last year Lauren pulled the same thing.  Now I'm a seasoned veteran of these shenanigans.. Last year I'd get in my car and cry, giving in to the never ending "mom guilt". This year, after me and 2 school administrators pried Ben off my leg, I headed to my car, cranked Metallica and sipped my Bloody Mary coffee out of my portable mug. 
Funny the difference a year can make.

I've been volunteering at the school for various things.  I'm somehow heading up the "kindergarten family fun night" later this month with a few other moms.  We had to come up with a theme...so we decided on "Fall Festival" after my idea of "Wine & Magic Mike movie night" was shot down.  Pffffttt...how is that not educational??  I thought "pin the tail on Channing Tatum" would've been a nice coinciding activity??  I also helped out at school picture day a few weeks ago.  I got a voucher for a free package of pictures for helping out, which was great since I now have 2 kids to purchase pics for and the cost of these things are out-friggin-rageous.  So the night before picture day, I was filling out the form and picking which package I wanted, when the Vodka Tonic I was drinking spilled all over the picture voucher.  Shit!!!  So I went to pick up the paper and it was so drenched in vodka that it broke off into 4 pieces.  In a mother-of-the-year-move, I left it in front of a window to dry overnight, then scotched taped the voucher back together in the morning, folded it up nicely and was able to salvage it for Ben's pic package.  Lesson learned. Obviously the moral here is I should be drinking my vodka from a sippy cup.

We've also instituted a new thing here at home that I like to refer to as "Silly sock day" which is basically where the kids wear mismatched sox everyday under the charade of "being silly and fun" but really just boils down to the fact that my laundry situation has gone off the rails and the first 2 sox I find while rutting around in the clean laundry basket are the ones they're wearing.  In my defense....1) They're clean, 2) They're sox.  

Finally, it's October and as you know my most favorite month of the year.  It's flippin' beautiful and I can't get enough of the spooky decorations and scary movies.  The trees are goreous right now and the weather is your typical "heat on in the morning....AC on in the afternoon"...doesn't get any better than that.  Here's what's going on at my house....

Oh...that last pic is a guy I've been dating...nice guy, has odd taste in food...not a great conversationalist, but his eyes are dreamy.  

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