Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Needed: Shirtless Pool Boy and a Dog Named Lassie

Ben & I just returned from Sports Authority where we went in to buy him a tennis racket and a soccer ball.  Apparently they're closing the Manchester store, and when we walked in all I saw were big bright "Clearance" signs everywhere.  I literally got tingly all over and immediately grabbed a carriage knowing this wasn't going to be a quick trip.  Let's flash scene to an hour at the register with a cart overflowing with such treasures as a dart board (regulation size), free weights, yoga mats, camping chairs...well you get the idea.  The store had been picked over and things were hastily thrown in random aisles, so the prices weren't apparent.  What else was I do to but drag everything to the register and have them scan each item in so I could decide if I wanted it??  Yes, I was THAT person.  One item at a time...having the poor guy at the register scan each item, then take off the ones that weren't on sale. Meanwhile, there was a line of people behind me getting pretty annoyed.  The woman behind me did the "loud sigh". I understood where she was coming from.  I mean, I was starting to annoy myself.  At one point, I contemplated just buying everything in the carriage to speed up the process but I realized I didn't have anywhere to hide all these items from Brian until I could slowly integrate them into the house without him noticing.

In any event, we've been busy!  Both Lauren & Ben are starting tennis, Ben is starting soccer this weekend, and we just got him going in a preschool class at the rec center.  I feel like I'm entering the "Mom Taxi" phase of parenthood and they're only 4 & 5!   I'm kind of looking forward to the summer when they have fewer activities and we have the days wide open to take adventures to the beach again.  Speaking of summer,  I've been interviewing pool boys.  No, we don't have a pool, but the process is still fun.  If you look anything like Daniel Craig and are interested in skimming our turtle baby pool while shirtless, feel free to contact me.  While this isn't a paying position, it's a great resume builder...let's call it an "internship". 

I've also been busy trying to convince Brian that getting another dog is a good idea.  I've "Liked" a rescue on Facebook called "Big Fluffy Dog Rescue" which features...well...big, fluffy dogs.  I love all dogs, but I have a special place in my heart for BIG dogs.  So as you can imagine, every dog they post for adoption....I want.  Brian's stand on the dog situation is "200 pounds of dog is our capcity"....referring to our English Mastiff, Brynn, and the fact that she is all we need right now.   However, I think I've found a loophole.  While we say Brynn is roughly 200 pounds, that's only an estimate.  After a painstaking several hours weighing each quarter of her on the bathroom scale...I've concluded that she actually only weighs 185....

Therefore, this leaves me with 15 pounds to work with.  So a smaller a Yorkie...would keep us well under our 200 pound dog limit..  Right?!   Although I do worry about Brynn accidentally squishing a dog that tiny, so we'll need a bigger dog that's a little sturdier. I was thinking collie...(think Lassie)...however, this presents a problem since they weigh in at about 50-60 pounds.  So clearly we need to get Brynn into shape and trim off a few pounds so we can keep the dog max limit under 200 to afford a Collie. **Maybe get Brynn on Shakeology and get her exercising to "Sweating to the Oldies" with Richard Simmons...

*** DISCLAIMER:   To those readers who took that last statement literally...know I was only joking and would obviously never put a dog on a diet.  Everyone knows that the most effective way to lose weight is to start smoking heavily and drinking lots of coffee.***

Well I hope you all had a Happy Easter! :)  We had our fill of hunting Easter Eggs and sugary treats.  Lauren informed me over the Easter Weekend that she has some doubts about the authenticity of the Easter Bunny and Jesus.  She's 5.   Ugh!  I wasn't expecting these kinds of questions so soon.  Luckily, faith in all of humanity was restored after we saw the "Easter Bunny" waving at cars in front of the local fire station trying to sell Daffodils. Somehow that quelled all of her questions about what Easter is all about.  Next thing you know, she'll be wondering how many years in a row Mommy can turn 29.....

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