Friday, April 5, 2013

Confessions of a Part Time Insomniac

You know how the things that seem normal to you in your day to day routine would seem completely bizarre to someone looking in at it from the outside?  Like if your neighbors, friends or coworkers were able to peek into a day in your life they'd probably change their phone numbers and alert the asylum they were missing a patient? 

I was thinking about this the other day, trying to imagine what someone would think of our brand of crazy.  So here's a little peek into the oddities that are common place in our house.  Confession time.
The other night I was sitting on the couch watching TV - and my feet were chilly.  Knowing that we had just done laundry I decide to go into the laundry room to see if there were any socks in the clean basket- the laundry room is on the same floor as the living room, and at that point I was just too lazy to go  ALLLL THE WAY UPSTAIRS where I know I have socks in my drawer.  So I'm rutting around in the laundry basket and find one sock.  Just one.  Not even a mismatched pair in there - one sock.  So I'm faced with a dilemma - I could A) just haul my lazy self upstairs for socks, B) go without socks and complain to Brian all evening that my feet were cold and hope he would get the hint and go ALL the way upstairs to retrieve a pair for me.  And then there's option C)  Try to make a go of it with just 1 sock.  I opted for C.

So I head back into the living room with my 1 rogue sock and proceed to put it on 1 foot, and stick the other foot underneath a bunch of throw pillows in an effort to keep the other foot warm. As you can imagine, the naked foot just wasn't as toasty warm under the throw pillows, and after about 20 minutes, I did what any rational person would do.  I switched the sock to the other foot.  I literally went the entire evening switching the sock from one foot to the other instead of just hauling my lazy butt upstairs to get an actual pair of socks.  Anyone that's been inside my home can attest to the fact that the distance between the living room and the stairs is like 7 steps.  I mean, we live in a Cape - it's not that large.   But you know - it wasn't even about the laziness anymore.  It was this sick compulsion to make my plan C work.  Like - I chose this path, dammit - and I will make it through the night with a solitary sock.

Another quirky thing that goes on around here is that I wake up around 3am - every night - and can't fall back to sleep for at least an hour.  So instead of fighting it, I've decided to make the most of my strange 3am burst of energy and I just get up and get things done.   I feed the cats, send emails, brush up on my ping pong skills, sometimes I'll even clean up the kitchen - put dishes away.  It's like middle of the afternoon around here.  People always ask why they get emails from me at 3:30am - this is why.  Then I get back in bed and read, the local news - and email good stories to Brian - who is fast asleep- for him to read when normal people are awake.  I'm not a morning person -however I am a 3am-4:30am person.  Go figure.  Neighbors must wonder why the house is lit up like a Christmas tree for an hour or so every night.  Then suddenly I'm exhausted again and back to dreamland I go.  It's odd, I know.  If you need to contact me, call me anytime during the day or between 3am and 5am ;)  

While we're putting it all out there and baring our souls - I have a final confession.  I'm not proud of this, and in fact, I'm looking into hypnosis as a solution to this issue.  But - I like a....Taylor Swift song.  There, I said it.  Only 1 of her songs - Trouble.  I even - downloaded it to my iPod - GASP!!!  ON. MY. iPOD.  Let that sink in, people. There amongst the ranks of such musical legends as Aerosmith and Eric Clapton...sits a Taylor flippin' Swift song.  I know what you're thinking right now...and you're right....this is only the it's one song, but next thing you know I'm buying her CD's, maybe toying with the idea of getting some TS concert tickets, then it's a poster on my bedroom wall.  This is a slippery slope, indeed.  Next thing you know I'm celebrating her entire catalog.  Oh, this has Trouble written all over it....Trouble...Trouble...Trouble....

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